Extension

Time is not on my side, and it's partly because I neglected it; that I misjudged how much I can afford.  Heck, I tricked myself into thinking I can afford any time.

But I honestly think we have a connection here.  Something that we can build on.  Genuinely I want to spend more time with you.  But I'm incapable on some levels.  That's what's letting me down.  And I'll be off soon.

Leaving this place with only regret of a squandered chance.

Yeah...  I get moody when I'm tired and bored. 

I'm Still Loving You - The Scorpions

Notion (continuation)

Good morning, peeps.  As promised, I'll work on the next story now.  With a rough guideline, I suppose spontaneity really helps fill in the gaps.

However this one will be slightly shorter, because recollecting a dream is trivial.  Moreover, if that dream was about a month ago.

Radiance

It was all a blur.  I awake to the gentle warmth of the sun permeating through the curtains, prancing along my left cheek like dancing kids in the eve of spring.  The feeling of clarity with a swirl of disorientation filled the scene.  My vision was clouded as the sudden intake of sunlight blinded me momentarily.  My legs felt heavy from fatigue, a clear indicator that I once again stayed up too late by the laptop.  But it was the weekend, the only luxury I can afford at this time, as the Saturday sun glows with a heightened intensity.

I finally managed to get myself upright, sitting at the side of the bed.  My head rested on my arms as I try to sort out the agenda for the day, carefully noting down any important hints or notes.  Nothing of the sort came to mind.  "Another day of reading the papers and playing football, I guess", as it seems almost arbitrary for every weekend to be so.

Then I felt a tinge behind me, as a pair of arms wrap around me from behind, forming a hug.  The gentle skin of a lady was unmistakable, but this was surreal.  How did a woman get here, why was she hugging me?  But I was succumbed by loneliness and depression, so I didn't question myself.  I just sat there, head down, feeling her chin softly resting on my shoulder.

She whispered into my right ear: "Don't leave me, don't leave this bed.  Please".  My senses grew more accustomed to my surroundings as my room reverted to its livelier color.  But the yearning to not leave this bed, to abandon the comfort of which I kept looking for, was almost unbearable.  Finally, I managed to clear my throat and softly tell this subtle, gentle figure: "I'm sorry, but I can't cling on to what was.  I need to get up from this bed.  I need to do something about this, and not lay around to be happy enough.  I want to strive for my own happiness.  That's why I must leave.  And I'm sorry".

As the last words slip my mouth, she lets go of me and backs away.  I was expecting a retaliation of anger and frustration, but none of the sort came.  She calmly retreated to the bed, and lay there in silence.  There was no emotion about her, and I couldn't tell what she felt or was thinking.

But I got out of bed.  My two feet felt the varnished wood as I proceeded to pull back the curtains.  Light filled every crevice of the room as the skies shine a pale blue.  I grinned a little and looked back at the bed.  She was gone, almost ethereal-like.  As if my mind was placing me on trial.  And I passed.

END

Okay, that took me 20 minutes to do.  I think the story's okay.  So cheers, and happy reading.

Who Says - John Mayer

Break

Well, here's a little break in between stories.  It's 12.40 am and the first game of the EURO 2012 tournament has concluded, of which I don't know the score.

But I can't sleep.  Plus it feels like I'm reverting back to my "hopeless romantic" personality, though it seldom re-emerges.

I just don't wanna fall asleep.  Not without your reply.  Not with the time I waste sleeping.  Not when I still have these thoughts.

But I kind of have to sleep, eventually.  And again, I waste more time.

Islands (Cover) - Danielle Andrade

Notion

Well, I've had my fair share of out-of-the-norm dreams lately.  I mean, weirder than weird dreams.  So I thought: why not do a (few) write-up(s) based on these dreams?  Who knows?  It may be fun.  I think I'll do two tonight.  And to make it a little more spruced-up, I'll titled each one of them, just like a short story.  Here goes:

Departure

I lugged my travel case off the taxi as I crossed the freshly coated asphalt of KLIA's drop-off point, my luggage threatened to explode its contents out at any given moment.  It's 10.30 pm and my mind's still foggy from that nap on the ride here.  I set foot past the automatic doors and was greeted with the crisp, cool blast of air conditioning, as the hairs on my arms began to stand.  There was not much of a good feeling as it was my last day on Malaysian home soil for a couple of years.  

With depressing seeping deeper every growing minute, I was greeted by a group of my closest friends, most of them trying their utmost best to force a smile.  I saw past it, but they meant their best intentions, so I faked one back as I approached them.  We chatted for a while with mostly small talk, anything to divert from the main event of the day, as countless announcements went blaring overhead from the PA system.  

I was taken off-guard for a while when the crowd parted briefly, giving me a glance of someone else who made it that day.  She was unnaturally quiet today, perhaps because she wasn't that close to my other friends.  Her eyes just momentarily looked up, before reverting back to her reserved self.  This was odd in any circumstance, as she had always been the extroverted one.  Nevertheless, I was glad she came.  It really did mean a lot; she was still a good friend, regardless what had happened in the past.

So I excused myself and chatted her up for a little while.  Nothing significant came out of that conversation, my un-conversational self contributing to that.  I still mustered enough to show her my appreciation of her being here today.

Everything else went by in an uneventful blur, check-in, baggage drop, etc.  And in my last moments with my friends, there I stood at the foot of the escalator, about to enter immigration.  There were an exchange of long hugs and tears, as we parted with our own personal messages.  Then, the final goodbye was left to her.

She was standing there, tears already staining her t-shirt as she sobbed uncontrollably.  Then she paced towards me and we hugged goodbye, she not saying a word.  I didn't either.  It would've made it unnecessarily harder.  Then, under bated breath, she said one word: "Sorry.".

And that's what it all mattered.  Closure.  She smiled, her nose reddening from the uncontrollable weeping, and I smiled back.  I can finally leave this place without any regrets.  That finally, we were wholly friends again, nothing more, nothing less.

END

Okay, that took me an hour and 15 minutes to do so...  I think I'll do the other one tomorrow.  Till then!

What a Difference a Day Made - Jamie Cullum

Uplift

They all say:

life has its ups and downs,

that what goes around comes around,

with no such infinite run.

I think I've finally skipped that hiatus,

so I can re-emerge,

lively and joyful,

to embrace.

No more trudging home,

my head down in dismay and fatigue;

now it's just fatigue and gratefulness,

with the occasional grin.

I write as the phoenix looms above,

reading my movements,

partially dictating the plot,

but I don't mind.

And among the kindle of friends,

I was greeted with teases,

for the very first time,

of which I accepted wholeheartedly.

But the sands keep shifting,

and I can't dictate the flow,

I can only manipulate the tempo,

and hope that the piano plays in sync.

I just got up and thought that I should blog, for some reason.  Well, that was a bunch of spontaneity...  Very rojak but I guess it's okay.  Hahaha!

Oh and another note,

HAPPY 300TH POST!!  WOOOHOOOO!!

Confidence (For You I Will) - Teddy Geiger

Strings

So after many months, I've picked up my guitar again, with a sense of guilt for leaving it aside.  Upon lifting my guitar case up, the reverse side showed multiple cobwebs and some baby spiders running about.  

On a side note, I like spiders.  They get rid of tiny critters without being too large to be an obstruction.  

And upon strumming the strings, it hit me that it was badly out of tune, not to mention severely rusted.  Almost 3 half steps off!  That was tragic enough.

And so I browse online for songs to play and sing to.  Before I knew it, I took 3 hours.  It was a great feeling, a little like rediscovering yourself.  And then I stumbled across this video on Youtube.

It's about a Homeless Korean Kid auditioning for Korea's Got Talent.  It was very moving, and I cried.  Very badly.  I realize that I take things for granted at times and that was wrong.  Just the right tonic to nudge me back to the "right" way.

So it was quite a thrill picking up that guitar again.  It taught me another funny lesson in life.  Or it's just me being sentimental again.  Still, it's a good thing.  No strings attached.

Come As You Are (Cover) - Yuna

Dollar

I remember back in secondary school where I would grab a triple scoop ice cream cone for the bus ride back.  And every trip back I thought to myself, sometimes out loud: This is by far the best RM 1 I'll ever spend.

Fast forward a few years, and I've proven myself darn wrong again.  Last Tuesday afternoon, I finished my Chemistry Lab class, the only class I had that day, in similar fashion to every other lab session: full of messed up, bombastic data calculations that seem to deviate from the actual value by the tenth power.  Very frustrating stuff.  Anyway, I had no one to accompany me for lunch so I decided to order a take-away Subway sandwich.  With my Tuna sandwich daily special drenched in mayo and barbecue (the only way how), I rushed to board the soon-to-arrive bus.

Since I have to take a transit of two buses to reach home, I didn't feel much elation to this monotonous routine. And the first bus ride to Kelana Jaya Station was as uneventful as ever, except this time we had to swap buses halfway through due to the opening of a new shopping mall (they have another bus line specifically to integrate this new stop).  I couldn't really complain about the bus-swap, as I get a small discount on bus fare.  Yet I have my half-eaten sandwich with me, as I feel bad munching on it in a bus full of hungry people.

Then I reached Kelana Jaya Station for Phase Two of my return home.  The free shuttle was abnormally late today, being 20 minutes past the designated time.  It was odd, but since there was another bus to send me home, I couldn't care more and boarded it.

Bored yet from the long, tiring intro?  Well fret not.  This is where it gets interesting.

Bus U89 arrived, which sends me right outside my residential area, which is a very big, sumptuous YES.  So I got on board.  I nestled down at the closest seat I could find (since I was that lazy), this time right behind the bus driver, which gives me a clear view of the bus doors.  A Nigerian student boarded after me and had no change to pay the bus fare, which was RM 1, but the smallest change he had was only RM 10.  Note that this is Malaysia, where bus drivers could care more about you not having the proper change, thus not really helping this dude out.  

Then my brain when into conscience overdrive, jogging all the principles my life runs by.  In this case, it was about lending a hand.  I live by the code.  Heck, I'm pursuing my studies in Biomedical Science just to help people.  In that split second, I asked myself: when was the last time YOU did something noble?  I quickly pulled out a Ringgit note from my wallet and handed it to him.  He kindly accepted it and sat next to me for the duration of the bus ride (I suppose it's out of formality).

He introduced himself as Victor, and has lived in Malaysia for 4 years.  Currently he's pursuing Nursing at Lincoln College and is in his first year.  Also in his spare time, he coaches TWO junior basketball teams, of school(s) I've forgotten.  Not just that, he's won medals with these teams.  He actually brought his CV along and showed it to me.  Upon revealing to him where I studied, he happily mentioned that he applied for the coaching role in my old school's basketball team as well.  So it was really something to hear that; it's such a small world!  His stop came up quite soon after that so we shook hands, and parted company.

The entire time walking home, I couldn't stop smiling, even chuckling on one or two occasions.  That feel-good vibe was back.  And I welcomed it like the oldest of friends.  That bus ticket, by far was the best RM 1 I have ever spent.

Will Do - TV on The Radio