Go/no go

"No seat belts?'

I shuffle in my seat, in what I used to call a van. Now it's a deathtrap for six. Five of which I care more (sorry, driver Chong).

I take a sniff of my clothes. A faint scent of vanilla on cotton. Good, I thought. Certainly doesn't reflect the past half hour of me running around the house, packing up for this trip.

Yeah. I'm going back to Iowa, for my Liang's graduation. And like I was three years ago, I've no plans nor ideas of what I'll do there.

My connection with the United States is odd, really. I love the people I've met there, and yet I loathe the nation it has become since my absence (no correlation there).

But yet again, here I am, about to meet lady liberty again. This time, for real. Yep. We're stopping by NYC.

I'm glad I got to take a nice break from life. I'm even more excited to see the people who are still around the area. And I'm anxious to unpack the last three years of my life to them.

I just hope they feel the same way.

posted from Bloggeroid

Print

It's near. I'm finally about to print the first copies of my book to be secretly sent to some awesome people stateside. Why them?

Because I'll be there in a few day's time. Liang's graduating so we're going to Des Moines before heading to Boston and New York City.

So I'll be rushing to get all my errands sorted out on Wednesday, before heading to the airport post-dinner. I'll need to print my book, head to Sentul to get US SIM cards from Yu Liang (who's on his way back from the US), and collect the printed and binded books, all while having packed already.

I have only packed two shirts for our two-week trip.

Not gonna lie, it's exciting to be able to go back. But I've been engrossed in everyday life in a drone-esque job so much that it had only hit me last Saturday that I'm flying off.

Besides that, it was a huge moment last week, to have been able to cast my vote for the first time in General Election 14. And also, ultimately being part of history. 60 years under the governance of a single party has come to an end.

The Opposition party had won. It's a bittersweet moment, because the candidates are basically the 2017 US Presidential Elections all over again. My voting practice was extremely (and woefully) straightforward: just not them.

Who did I want to vote for? Not the same people as before. What policies should we adopt? Not the ones implemented previously.

I hope to be a better voter and a more informed citizen the next time I get to exercise my right to vote.

posted from Bloggeroid

Bisection

*Last message sent: one year ago*

That struck a nerve with me.

Has it really been that long? Time has been cruel, but so have I.

I've forgotten about you. I've moved on, whether onto better things, is ultimately up for debate.

But when did I actually start giving up? More importantly, _how_ could I have given up?

You were my best friend. Frankly, you still are.

But it's been one year since you read my messages. And it's been two years since we last spoke to each other.

I don't know what to feel about that. Can you tell me how?

posted from Bloggeroid

Demand

Somehow this was in my digital notepad scribbles and didn't make it to the blog.



My sister demands a lot of attention.

My brother demands a lot of maturity.

I demand a lot of patience.

My father demands a lot of foresight.

My mom demands a lot of tolerance.

posted from Bloggeroid

Invincible

Life's weird.

On one hand, you can find yourself realising that for once, you're not alone in the love department. Dating a complete stranger met online can actually be fun, and before you know it, you've unpacked the past five years of your life to a complete stranger.

You feel invincible, because you know that she'll be there for you, because in some magical way, she low-key wants to see you, too.

On flip side, you can find yourself trodding back home in the pouring rain. Somehow, your drenched clothes don't faze you. Lightning arcs threaten nearby as the raindrops hit you harder.

You don't give a shit, because you know you're invincible. Even after another fucking shitty day at work, you know that your boss won't get the better of you. Hell, you're even bullish enough to assume you aren't easily replaced.

But life goes on. You can only hope that you find your egress from this miserable job, so that you can enjoy every other good thing in your life.

P.S. She's not my girlfriend... Yet (but don't tell my parents a word).

posted from Bloggeroid

Book

Congrats, you let the villain in the book actually read a story about them in real life.

You dug up that old, traumatic event.

You didn't think to countercheck on who you're divulging info to.

You preyed on someone's curiosity and well intentions and sold them down the river.

Fang, you're a fucking idiot at times.

I Dare You - The XX

2018

It's the new year!

Two days in and I'm already down with some stomach flu and fever so that's... less than ideal.

Here's to less unfulfilled resolutions, for me, at least.

I know that I didn't quite list down last year's resolutions, as I had came up with a few along the way so I guess I somewhat got some done?

I wanted to be more outgoing in 2017, so I guess hiking KK, going on a blind date, and doing some bouldering did the trick.

For 2018, I'll keep it simple and focus on just two goals (for now).

The first, is to get that book published (going through final edits, promise!).  I'm hoping to get a few copies ready for when I revisit The States.  Liang's graduating in the Spring so you bet I'm work my darnedest to have a comeback tour of my own.

The second, and the main goal for the year, is to work towards achieving peak fitness.  I know, it's a big ask, coming from me.  However, I need to be more disciplined so I'm hoping to beat my head in with an excessive amount of running.  We'll see if it actually translates to hitting the gym more often, but for now, it'll mainly be running, futsal and the occasional badminton/swimming session.

Sidenote, The Usual Gang had a nice New Year's get-together dinner so that was great, especially since 14/15 (missing you, Suz!) of us were miraculously free that day.

It was a nice to have a Secret Santa session as well and I'm extremely grateful that Chin didn't receive mine (which was a grow-your-own-Mint kit) because he would outright kill it.  I got Pauline's present two years in a row now, and it's a knitted blanket in the shape of a mermaid.  Needless to say I won't be posting pictures of it... here.

Super Far - LANY