Ward

After another normal soccer session with friends, I find myself the following morning having excessive weakness in my arms and calves, not being able to prop myself up nor to even crawl on all fours.

Now, this isn't the first time that this had happened: this was the fourth. Now the previous three just saw me sleeping it off, but this case drew the last straw. Thus with the help of Ban Joo, I paid the Thielen Student Health Center a visit. Of all the potential outcomes I have pictured, the chain of events that followed were no where near my expectations.

The doctor, Dr. Frischke, was perplexed with my symptoms. No pain, fever, tick bites nor night sweats; only weakness. After having blood tests and an EKG, I had critically low potassium levels (1.6 of the normal level 3.5). Now for a bit of biology: potassium channels in cell surfaces play a part in muscle activity. Low potassium leads to weakened muscles.

Fearing heart failure due to the low potassium, I had been rushed to the hospital for further testing. Now, this was my first time being admitted to the hospital, and to top it off I was sent via an ambulance due to my inability to walk. Jarod and Jim, the paramedics took good care of me and kept me comfortable for my quick drive to Mary Greeley Hospital.

There was a long series of tests once I was.admitted, including three more blood extractions (two venous blood and one arterial, which hurt like Hell), heartbeat monitors, periodical blood pressure checks, consuming some nasty concoction for my potassium deficiency (which tasted all too much like a jello shot) and some paperwork. In between, I snuck two naps as I had nothing else to do, resulting in two nurse wakey-uppies.

Once I was seen by the two doctors working on me, I was finally moved to my personal ward, which was very fancy. Apparently I was moved to the new wing, which looks much more like an apartment in Mont Kiara, with nice wooden flooring and square terrazo tiles in the restroom, with a wall-hung big screen TV and proper lighting matched by the air-conditioning.

The nurse who was part of my care team hooked me up on an IV (which also hurt a tad) to replenish my magnesium and potassium levels. Note, at this point, I was poked five times, in different regions in both my arms. Good thing I'm accustomed to blood donations. She also mentioned that I probably have Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis, leading to a over-depletion of potassium. This was a rare disorder and no one in my family has this. Being a genetic disorder, this condition is a gut-wrenching reality.

I also donned an over-sized gown, touching my ankles and exposing my chest when I stand upright. As a precaution, I was (and currently am) strapped to a portable heart monitor, with many sticker-tags spreading from my left side across my heart, lungs, all the way to my right side. At this point I've gained all muscular functions again and can freely move about. The question is how long I can maintain the proper levels of potassium.

So now I'm stuck here overnight with a super comfy bed and a Season 3 recap marathon of Castle, and 7 buck meals for virtually a whole bunch of food. Now if only I can lay on my side without the EKG cables being uncomfortable or detach (could make someone assume I'm dead, which is a no-no).

I'll be consulting my doctor tomorrow on the nitty gritty stuff regarding my condition. Fingers crossed. Before I snooze, here are a couple of pics.





*update as of 3rd July*

I met with ANOTHER doctor (nextdoor to Mary Greeley) and they are pretty sure it's hyperthyroidism.  It is also noted that hyperthyroidism can lead to lowered potassium levels, which can cause hypokalemic periodic paralysis.  Upon another checkup by two endocrinologist, it was noted that my thyroid has swelled to three times the normal size.  Right now, I'm under medication to reduce my thyroid's activity and beta blockers to prevent heart failure (again, potassium is involved in muscle activity).  I've to avoid three weeks of vigorous activity (heartbroken) and not consume too much carbs, until the next follow-up appointment with the same endocrinologist.  Well, at least it isn't rare anymore.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sole

Everyone has friends to return to, the bunch of peers that they oftentimes interact with.  

Me?  I'm a drifter.  

I get along with most people, and join their group of friends for the occasion, whatever it may be.  I have no "default" group of friends, and thus I chill out with almost any given person.  

As a result, I have been stuck in the gray area of social circles, not too close of friends to mostly everyone, constantly remaining right outside everyone's loop.  

Everyone has friends to return to; I (unfortunately) don't.

He Used To Be - The Right Now

Naive

You want to thank someone for making enough money to cover her phone bill, at 21 years old, lauding her as the "first amongst us (high school friends, to support part of her expenses)"?

Don't be any more biased. That will seem unnatural.

I've shuffled two jobs for the past year so that I've enough to cover my rent and meals, and I don't even consider my phone bill as excusable.

As selfish as this is, why don't Kevin, Danny or I (who three study abroad) deserve any acknowledgements or plaudits? Because we seem to be under the radar, just low enough to be under-appreciated. Note, I'm representing myself, and not of the two guys I've mentioned. The mindset of some people...

P.S: Credit to the lass who has worked hard and is truly deserving of her payroll. I simply disagree with the feedback towards her achievement.

posted from Bloggeroid

Deviants

In a fraction of a second, the brain registers the first impressions and thoughts of whatever information it receives.  See, whatever comes after the initial impression is full of emotional ties in place of pragmatism.  In that opening jiffy, my "first impressions" gave me a further glimpse into my emotion-less, exclusively logic side.

With no censorship in effect, I thought:

Religion convinces people they're free, but in a shroud of shackles.  

Now, if you found that statement offensive, then I would advise you to stop reading.  If you want to make your blood boil by a college student's provocative thought process, then by all means, stay for some entertainment.  What I talk about is more towards agnosticism, and not atheism.  To put it out there bluntly, I respect people's right for a religions belief and do not wish to patronize them; this writing is about me, and solely my thoughts on religion.

I'm a Buddhist, but Buddhism is not as much as a religion as it is a way of life.  In it's teachings, it explicitly mentions that if you were to find a better reason of belief, then by all means adopt it instead.  That's what I am, and I've been this way for a good 5 years or so, and I'm not drowning in a pool of disarray or insecurity.

What I am, is a deviant.  Not all deviants bring injustice, it's just a different culture to the main practice.  Having tattoos is a deviant, that doesn't mean that it deserves harsher treatment from society.  It is what it is, as deviants do not equal crime.

In my opinion, religion is imposed to keep people in check, so that they know what NOT to do.  Religion is good at that, I'll have to admit.  However, religion can also act as a stencil, shaping a person to another's desire (I know that's mostly untrue, but I'm speaking on behalf of how religion is spread in my third-world, corrupt, country).  Now, religion in Malaysia is very different, and to some degree, a deviant to its own cause.  Messages spread in Malaysia, is not the same as how it is in The States.  Now, I'm not saying that America is all-knowing (or the best) in religion, but their teachings, the way the message is conveyed is more understanding and receptive of others.

But the point of all of this, is that religion gives you a set of boundaries.  You may not know this, but it will be more apparent once you take a step back.  Now, I am in no way suggesting that you go off and do bad things (again, deviants are not a crime).  What I'm trying to say, is that sometimes religion can be a limiter.  Religion holds you back, it makes you play it safe.  The problem is, you will not know your full potential unless you break yourself.

So go test your limits, take some risks, and ultimately don't be afraid to make mistakes (NOTE:  You are NOT intentionally supposed to make mistakes).  You are your worse enemy, and religion can oftentimes reinforce that "limiter" in you.  

All in all, religion is not a bad thing.  But it might not be the best thing, either.  So if this write-up makes no sense whatsoever (which I don't blame you, I am not my usual writing-self), please drop a comment on the chatbox.  I would love to have a discussion.

Burning Bridges - One Republic

Watch

Another semester brings another challenge.  I've attended my first Iowa State commencement ceremony, and have said many goodbyes to some of my closest friends.  A year from now, and the roles will be reversed, with me myself donning the graduation gown.

Summer has been one heck of a ride thus far.  In a simple breakdown, ASM2014 in Boston was amazing.  The event was "dangerously informative", and the culture shown in the city was just breathtaking.  I even got to meet up with my cousin, whom I haven't seen in years.  It was a crazy five-day drive from Iowa all the way to Massachusetts, but it was a nice, bumpy, bonding moment with 11 others from the Microbiology Club.  

6 hours after my return saw me heading back the same way to Bloomington, Indiana for the Malaysian Midwest Games.  It was a very forgettable event, as the overall event was poor, with lousy management and appalling meals.  I went there to play soccer with some random bunch of friends (and strangers)  for the Michigan Wolverines.  They will go on to be overall champions for MMG, without any contribution from me and the soccer team.  We got battered, simply put, and team chemistry was non-existent.  The event was chock-full of lessons, if anything.

Unfortunately, the lab I used to work in had lack of funding from the department, and they had to let all undergraduate lab assistants go.  It was a tough day for me, as Steve, my boss meant a lot to me.  He looked after me and gave me a shot when most people would have turned me down, being an International student, and for that I've gained invaluable experience over the past year working with him in the Food Safety Research Lab.  

Which brings me to the present, I'm doing well, having a spanking new laptop (MSI GS60 Ghost).  I'm doing Summer classes to complete my minor and a bothersome elective.  So far, I've no big projects: restoring conditions to my torn bags and pants, storing stuff for friends over Summer, discovering the Civil War era to the Marvel Universe, catching up on movies and TV shows (btw, Season 2 of Hannibal was phenomenal!), and re-discovering Chicago in the tech-savvy new platformer, Watch_Dogs.

So yeah, that's it from me for now.  Toodles!

I Believe In You (Je crois en tu) - Il Divo and Celine Dion

Tears

Having attended my last ISC event as an official member, was the most bidirectional feeling I have ever had thus far.  I am extremely grateful to be part of the beautiful diversity of culture for my two-year tenure, and will miss every part of it.  

I am not the best at expressing my feelings, but believe me when I say that you guys are family to me.  ISC was my home away from home; it was my safe place where I've always felt loved and cared for; and each and every one of you weirdos made it comfortable for me to be weird, too.  Despite our little squabbles every now and then, I know that at the end of the day, we still could rely on each other.

I will miss every single one of you wonderful people, and it brings tears to my eyes that I can't spend every crazy week with you guys in our regular meetings, filled with jovial minds and a splash of chaos.  Thank you all for everything that was done.  You may not know it, but you have all changed me to be a better, bolder, wiser person.  For that, you all have my eternal gratitude.

With much love, 

Fang.

Too Soon To End - Alain Clark and Diane Birch

Lunch

Some funny conversation happened last week.

During my TA sessions, I was in the prep room with my other TA colleagues, when one of them, Mia, stared at me, acting perplexed.

Now, she was an oddball, so her staring at me was much worth being concerned (then again, most people in the life sciences fall into this category).

So with curiosity written on her face, she asked: "Fang, do you have a girlfriend?"

Now, this took me by surprise, as I wasn't remotely close to any girls in the past month (remotely meaning that I haven't been seen public with a single person, I usually hang out with a group of people).

I immediately played down the prospect. "No, why would you ask that"?

"Because I saw you with a girl".

"That's very vague" *shrugging with a grin*

So that whole conversation was somewhat memorable, because of an epiphany I had: I seldom eat with a small group of friends.

Maybe because it's the racial segregation back home (I had lunch with Faziera in this scenario, mind). But I notice that living in the States has made me appreciate more intimate, or at least, a closer comfort of dining together with friends and acquaintances.

I'll consider this to be an interesting, albeit casual lunch!

Elevate - St. Lucia