Tournament

Well, the Futsal tournament was fun. Really should have scored in the first game, pulling off some neat touches and running at the defence.

Second game saw us concede a sloppy goal, and lose possession too often due to long ball tactics, so our team didn't progress past the group stages. I did make two goal-saving tackles in that game though.

Been laying in my bed for the past two hours listening to podcasts and having micro-sleeps.

I'm sure my body will feel awful tomorrow.

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School

It's the night before game day and I can't sleep. Maybe it's the pre-game jitters again.

Or maybe, it's because I've a good day and was left with thought-provoking questions. Sabrina had proposed for us to write a book about the four of us weirdos: Joey (her boyfriend) , Nicole (her childhood friend), herself and I.

That actually sounds interesting.

Earlier today, Sabrina and I had attended Art for Grabs at Jaya One. And I got to meet the sweetest kid, who was one of the artist there. He touched my heart, and he's only 9 years old. Definitely made my day.

Disclaimer : I've tried to post the picture of me and the kid, Brandon, but my phone won't let me. Until I get on my laptop...

*edit* Finally did it.

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Evaporated

Just a tidbit of advice: When you're off the clock, you're off the clock.

Having to read thinly-veiled borderline insinuating work-related messages before bed is pretty much the worse way to prep for the next working day.

It is indeed very hard to motivate myself for work in an environment where criticism is rife and empowerment is devoid of form.

In the whole thick of things, for someone to be transfixed on a microcosm of minor mistakes and miss the bigger picture, really makes it difficult to be inspired to work harder.

This doesn't change my stance, no matter how my principles might be. I want to be wrong about the lack of prospects in this job.

So far though, there's nothing to suggest a reversal. Sigh.

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Strings

Whoops. Meant to post this last week as I had wrote the entry on my phone when travelling to Ipoh to visit my mom's side of the family. Well, here goes.

My recent weeks have been much better, since Sabr had been on her semester break. Last Friday night, we had watched Kubo and the Two Strings, which I highly recommend.

Her presence always seemed to bring out the most philosophical insights in me. The biggest point of our conversations was on "stagnation".

Yeah... That's the best word I can categorise it thus far. We're both (and I guess it extends to most fresh grads) experiencing an excitingly blank phase in our lives. It's the feeling of not knowing what is out there, even just a few months down the road.

That lack of foresight really gets in the way of planning for the future. There's a vision of what I want to do in the near future (getting back to Graduate School), but I can't figure out what my next six months would be.

So here we are, somewhat invigorated by the freedom and the world at our front door, yet being gradually desensitised to the novelty and excitement of the experience.

What motivates us to keep moving? To stick with the same job, to stay with a partner, to know that these are investments, and that all investments have an element of risk involved? It's hard to say.

All I know is this: when something is going good in life or turning out well, don't question it!

We are so quick to worry about things that went wrong, but we don't do enough of the opposite.

The tough times in life are not holding any punches. So take the good times with both hands and hold them tight. I think we deserve at least that.

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Quiet

Sabr: What do you want people to remember you by?

Me: I'd like them to see me as an inspiration, "quietly brilliant". The "quiet" part is a little tricky.

Gotta keep working towards that.

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Border

Yeah.  Been a while.  Hopefully someday I can get used to having sporadic postings.  Not yet though.  Somehow I've been very dissatisfied with most things.

Underwhelming food, demotivating work life, lack of exercise (due to prolonged work hours and now the haze), and whatnot.  

I guess I've been missing some friends of late.  Having recently reconnected with some made me realize the time lost in the meantime, and does make me reminisce of the "good times".  

Well, here are some updates.  Mari had dropped by KL to visit me, since she was stationed in East Malaysia for five weeks prior to conduct research on malaria.  It was a crazy weekend, as I played host for the first time.  Nevertheless, we had a great time (re)discovering Kuala Lumpur.  She did all of the shopping, naturally.  I've only a few pictures, so here's one of them.

Having Roti Tissue at Kayu Nasi Kandar, the day of her arrival

In between, I entered a mix doubles badminton competition hosted by my company's Sports Club, with the new QA Exec, Ya Houy.  My faked aggressive stance belies my lousiness, as my partner was the more technical player.  Nevertheless, we gave ourselves a good account, having won one and losing three games to crash out of the group stages.  

But hey, one game won is one less lost.  I feel that the highlight of the tournament was my questionable footwork, from all those years of performing dance routines.  At one point the photographer was wondering when would I eventually twist my ankles.

Anyway, the Olympics have been underway and we've thus far bagged silver medals for the Badminton Mens' and Mixed Doubles, Women's Synchronized 10m Diving, and a bronze in Men's Cycling Track.  

We're in good shape to get a Gold with Datuk Lee Chong Wei having ousted his opposite number Lin Dan for the first time after the previous two showings against him.  He faces China's Chen Long tonight for the Men's Badminton Singles title.  This will be interesting.

Lastly, I've just completed Telltale Games's Tales from the Borderlands, and it was a very fun experience.  I only wished that the game lasted longer, as the characters were well-built, with a simple (but increasingly complicated) story line, interweaving between a strong performance from all the voice actors.  My favourite part was the soundtrack.  Heck, I even started playing Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel again on co-op mode with Roger.

To The Top - Twin Shadow

Dime

I lost another friend today. Thankfully, it was his choice, and not by some accident or natural disaster.

In fact, it was for a more simple reason. I refused to indulge in his fantasy.

Please don't mistaken this for me trying to take the moral high ground. I've nothing to prove and thus no one to defeat. There's no incentive, no prize for me to be or sound magnanimous in this moment.

What had transported was my refusal to rate this picture of a woman. Mind that this wasn't a pornographic or provocative image; she was fully clothed and decent-looking, in a normal, healthy way.

My friend wanted to know my rating of her. I abstained. He wanted to know whether I found her attractive, and I refused to objectify her based on her looks.

This wasn't the first time I explained my aversion to this... activity. So I flat-out rejected, to make myself clear.

He took that as me getting on my high horse, seeming as though I'm better than everyone and that was me patronising him.

But I wasn't. I just felt indifferent and that's my problem, not his.

In response, he unfriended me from all social platforms. Years of friendship... gone. Just from a disagreement.

Yes, I am saddened by this, but I can't be empathetic about losing a friend over my refusal to play along with his game.

There is no emotion involved in "scoring" who's hot or not. It's wrong and degrading, even if it is just for sport, or as a "bro thing".

I've no time and space for that kind of behavior anymore. I can't treat every person like a human being when my opinion of them changes on a dime, viewing them as nothing but a piece of meat. Whether I meet them in real life or not is an irrelevant, moot and ignorant notion.

It's not that I don't care about our 5,6-year-long friendship; I just don't care enough to fight for it. And for that, I'm sorry.

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