Alas, it has been too long. No, there are no excuses, only the reality of the situation. Recently Hanan and I decided to exchange blog posts, reading them aloud to one another. It was somewhat cathartic. So thank you, Hanan, for getting me to write a little bit more again.
Senior year sucks. Facing all these uncertainties: can I get a job here, where can/will I live, how am I going to do so, what about everyone else?
The list continues...
Life never slows down. It seems like I'm riding a bicycle down a slope, with the brakes malfunctioning. The faster the wheels spin, my heartbeat reciprocates by matching in intensity. I'm slipping, but that's life; you make do with what you got, and you do whatever it takes.
I'm burning out, and it's only been 3 years. I can't blame school for it (well, I should assume responsibility anyway). There's too much that I'm involved in, some by choice, some by obligation.
I've been stretched thin, and I can feel my arms pop from their joints, my jaw locked in dislocation, my diaphragm tearing as my breath grows fainter with each inhalation. That's how much pressure I'm under. I hide it well, because a leader needs to set an example for others. If that means lying to their faces to keep their morale up, then I'll do just that.
But this isn't supposed to be a depressing post (sorry for ranting). I'm just saying it as it is. Warning: This is Fang flinging ideas at his editorial wall and seeing what remotely sticks.
I've been having mixed feelings about many things lately. Words prance along my tongue as this dame twirls in front of me, and I don't know what to do.
I'm probably just feeling lonely, in need of an emotional companion. I'm not looking for a relationship, especially not in this time of uncertainty, just someone who understands me deep down inside. I miss those moments with Sabr, as she gets me, every fiber of me.
Yeah, that kinda makes sense. Look at me, putting off studies, hosting a nationwide conference, applying for jobs, and potentially luxurious sleeping hours to write all these things down.
I'm just gonna end this post with this Ted Talk on "emotional hygiene". It speaks in volumes, pertaining to emotional well-being.
Oh, and Better Call Saul is out, along with Archer Season 6 and House of Cards Season 3 coming out in a few more weeks. Yep, I'm not gonna be getting things done!
My Type - Saint Motel
