Gaze

Just a small thought as I continue to find a balance between studies, social life, and "me" time.  I've all but gave up on relationships.  Maybe I'm at the peak of my form in terms of skepticism, but that's how I feel now.  There's just no trust anymore.

But walking along campus grounds, noticing how the leaves are changing, that gave me an odd insight.  Past that lofty piles of beautiful orange, yellow and red leaves, the trees shed them to survive.  Those leaves deemed appealing by a younger me have all but died, outcasted and marooned to save another's skin.  Yet death seemed beautiful for a while.  

The above statement justifies that I've been watching too much Walking Dead.  Now... to try and do something productive.

"Be careful out there.  Because everybody lies."

- Eliza Cassan, Deus Ex: Human Revolution -

Nothing I Do - Jamie Cullum

Science

As a kid nothing piqued my interest more than science, besides watching TV, of course.  But then came along that mash-up of TV science show called Bill Nye The Science Guy.  The show was fantastic and made science seem all the more fun and cool, and this made Bill Nye my childhood idol (the only one outside my family, mind you).  In fact, looking back I think that was the driving force of my passion towards what I wanted to do.  And I thought: "Wouldn't it be great if I could ever meet someone like him?"

Tonight I met someone brilliant, enthusiastic, and fun all in a single package.  He demonstrated the need for my generation to step up, to strive and achieve great things as all previous generations had done.  He instilled determination and motivation in his speech.  In a fully packed Stephens Auditorium in ISU, I met Bill Nye.

My week has been made.

Burn It Down - Linkin Park

Break

Here I am supposedly trying to compile a resume for my International Student Council application, and blogging instead.  My bowel's getting grumpy too, which is never welcomed.

I browsed through some of my old posts and realized, that I've been having a large drama in terms of my personal life for freaking four years.  God knows what I was thinking.  But for the umpteenth time, I've finally moved on.  I guess I just couldn't bring myself to believe the reality of the situation until the words came out of her own lips.  Well, now I can focus on other stuff, once I get over the sad, sobbed part.  But yeah, time to turn over a new leaf!

My roommate is also moving out as my dorm is in the process of being switched to a freshman-only dorm.  Best part is that the year's room and board cost is all the same for us as we've paid for it already.  So he's moving to a suite in Buchanan and paying the same cost as I am.  Lucky dude.  Maybe I'll be lucky as well...    Fingers crossed.

Will be heading to Adli's place later for dinner with friends, and some FIFA 12 on his new Xbox 360.  Oh, my Achilles' Heel for soccer...

Okay I should rectify this disturbing bowel, and get back to work.

Break The Same - Mutemath

Disarray

A boy,

who thought of little,

in both concept,

and himself.

Still raw and tumbling,

gazing at his malcoordination,

in dizziness,

without a compass to lead.

A girl,

who flowers envy,

and diminishes sunsets,

without fail.

Looking for an identity,

lying behind the looking glass,

a silhouette of what she is,

and what she wants to be.

Thus a chance was given,

which the boy fumbled,

and the girl picked him up,

with questions still looming.

Who am I?

Can this work?

What is on his mind?

What is on hers?

Two years had passed,

there was no more boy or girl,

it only existed a guy, and a lady,

back at square one: alone.

And they grew apart.

Still being too young to love,

but too old to take it light-heartedly,

fizzing in the gray area of doubts and solitude.

Where he stares,

with one eye back at her,

and another away from the past,

as he tries in vain to move on.

And she stares back,

with tears and regrets,

as she slowly creeps,

still searching for her identity.

They both bleed their hearts out,

because that's the only thing they can do.

In this broken world,

filled with fear and deterrents.

Lonely Day - System of A Down

Beats

Procrastination, laziness and inconveniences has led to the outdated posts to be revealed.  Sorry.

I'll start off with the trip, which I took during the weekends, two weeks ago.  With some people from AMSISU (the Association of Malaysian Students in Iowa State University) we headed out to South Dakota for some sight-seeing.  First we headed to Mount Rushmore and later, set up camp at the Devils Tower National Monument camping grounds.  It was a nice trip, getting to know my Malaysian seniors better as well as seeing a part of America.  Got my foot stabbed in the process (stepped on a small tent pin), hiked for about 7 km with that injury, and getting to camp in 3 C cold weathers, it was memorable!

The next day when we returned, I missed the bus in a collection of unfortunate events.  It was imperative I got on the closest bus line as I was 25-30 minutes away from class, and class was beginning in 15 minutes time.  Moreover, with my current half-lame condition, it was close to impossible for me to be there early.  So with the aid of some adrenaline, I sprinted the 2 km stretch all the way to the third passing bus stop and got on another line, which also takes me to my class.  I was 2 minutes late, and the lecturer hadn't started class yet so I was a little fortunate.

A week had passed and my foot had finally healed properly.  I managed to play some soccer with Anton and Chris and it was quite something, being able to play the actual football game in The States.  I also watched my first college (American) football game with the Cyclones (us) beating our fiercest rivals, the Hawkeyes.  I watched it at the projector room in the commons, but it had a great atmosphere to it and reminded me a lot of the passion and enthusiasm surrounding soccer.  On Wednesday, Clubfest was underway.  A portion of the 500+ clubs in ISU set up booths to promote student participation.  I wasn't sure which clubs to join initially, so I signed up for a multitude of them.  The list goes:

- Asian Pacific American Awareness Coalition (APAAC)

- Skydiving Club

- Quidditch Club

- Spikeball Club

- German Club

- Writers' Guild

- Gamers Renegade

- International Students' Council (ISC)

- Lancelot House (Wallace)

- Microbiology Club

So thus far I've only attended the ISC meeting.  It was great as I met many international students studying in ISU.  And we took a group photo at the end of the event, although it was only a small portion of the attendees.

Which brings me to current times.  I have a new phone!!  Presenting...

The HTC One X

My first smartphone, and one that I'll (hopefully) be using long term.  Fresh out of the market, with a dual core processor and Beats Audio enhancer, I was loving it at the first go.  Oh, happy me.

Also I got the demo version to FIFA 13 (yay!) but the game keeps crashing on me (Boo!!).  One notable thing though is that they tweaked the impact engine as well as their first touch mechanism, giving the game a more realistic and fluid feel, which is a big win in my books.

That, was a summary of my past two weeks.  Till next time, ta taa.

Fa-Fa-Fa - Datarock