Spatial

Now, for a positive post (like, FINALLY!). 

This season's been a joy to watch football.  As in, the Barclays Premier League.  It's not because bitter rivals Manchester United and rolling about in 7th place, it's not because the Malaysian-owned Cardiff City has a dingbat of an owner (sorry dude, but that's how I feel) and it's certainly not because Chelsea has the Special One back as gaffer.

No, no and *pause* no.  It's all about the Merseyside Redmen!  This seems to be the season for Liverpool.  I know there's still half a season to go, but sitting comfortably in 4th place with a 5-point cushion from 5th place Spurs, is a pretty good position to be in this point of the season.

Credit to Brendan Rogers for shaping the team to a "Pass and Move" based team.  The way the team have been playing is immense, combining high pressure with high tempo build up.  In fact, we're demolishing some teams for fun, bringing back memories of the 08/09 season, where we eventually finished runners-up in the league.  

We still have a few big fixtures ahead, like Spurs and Man U away, but with a rather thin squad, we're making it count.  To keep things realistic, a Top Four placing is a must, this season more than any other.  We'll keep believing, and I'll keep forcing myself to watch early game fixtures.  This is our season, and we will make it count.  YNWA!

On a separate note, my footballing "career" has kinda hit a stumbling block.  I know it's still rather early for a player to stop developing at my age, but I seem to find it hard to play well in small teams, like in futsal.  I've definitely improved my ball skills from previous years, as I heavily emphasized on first touch and dribbling.  However, the same cannot be said about my limited passing range, or my fitness.  Especially in congested areas, I still can't find that calmness on the ball to play out of danger, and my lack of proper physique does not help at all.  Well, at least I can still enjoy and appreciate the game.  Spring can't come soon enough, as it seems I'm more comfortable playing on firm ground rather than on artificial turf.  Somehow the latter screws around with my balance, and balance is key for any player.

I still have a few more years to develop, eh?

Ships in the Night - Mat Kearney

Crooked

So I pondered on my intentions for this space, this electronic Mind Palace of sorts, or so that's what I hoped of it to be.  Frankly, the tone's been rather negative and gloomy of late, and this does not help this blog one bit.  I'll work on that.  

This post is dedicated to a friend, albeit one of which I am not very close to.  Somehow, I feel that she has acknowledged my existence in the simplest way of support.  No, this isn't a confession.  In fact, it's a thank you note, because I lack the time and space to show everyone my gratitude.  

Yes, she's a reluctant guest I have to entertain as she's my best friend's girl.  I suppose the "Bro" figure can be suppressed for the time being.  But she's always had the intellect to match her quip.  Those are but the few reasons she deserves more accreditation.  I tip my hat to you, for making my best friend un-lonely, and for backing me every step of the way, although I wasn't reciprocating the gesture.

Thank you, friend.  I really mean it, with a crooked smile.

Africa - Toto

Yield

Life has been tough.  Sadly, this is all I can add.  It's been a few months now, since I've blogged and it's becoming more and more apparent as my college life progresses.  I find myself having less and less time to devote to this blog, however its vision may be, as I get more and more busy no matter how I try to cut down the workload.

I've been back to Malaysia, as mentioned in the previous post and so I shall touch on that first.  Going home sucks.  The weather's too damn hot (I came during Winter, mind you), the people are shoddy, the overall hygiene is questionable at times, the command of English is dreadful, you re-encounter the same damn problems and worst of all, no one gives two cents about you being around.

I mean, I'd be flipping out seeing a former high school mate, casually striking a conversation without hesitation; I'll be taking the initiative to spend time with people, probably because I haven't seen most of them for at least a year and a half, most of them even longer than that!  I hate (yes, this is a strong word being deliberately used) that I'm almost totally ignored by others, spewing secondhand comments like "Oh, Fang?  He has an accent now" or "Ah, how is he?".  Maybe it's because I expected too much from others, when I shouldn't be asking for any contributions to start, or maybe it's because I want to feel at home, on my actual home soil.

Going home sucks, ultimately because you need to leave all of them again, without feeling a shred of difference of what you were and what you are today.  I've yet to prove myself, at least in my own eyes.

But the fact is, the more you experience different cultures, the more you travel, then the idea of home gradually gets distorted.  I mean physically I'm in my apartment now (which really feels like a college-grade home now), spiritually it's always intact in this vessel of a human body.  However, emotionally and socially, now that's the real question: I love my friends here in The States, with their diversity, the "melting pot" of culture, it's amazing; at the same time, I can't relate to most of them on a more intimate level with them compared to the folks halfway across the world.  

Not just that, what happens once I graduate?  I'm in my Junior year, with 22.5 credits to go before graduation.  That's in another year.  Can I get a job by then?  An actual job where I'm willing to work?  What about logistics?  Where, when, how?  I'm clearly experiencing Senioritis prematurely, but with valid reasons.  My grades have been faltering, too.  Sometimes I feel that I've lost my drive, and picking up the ball is not going easy... I'll just have to keep my head down and grind out the results.

I'm also facing the struggles of living up to others' expectations, while trying to steer away from that.  I wish I could be more detailed about it, but that's not fair to others.  I'm inadvertently taking the blame for not wanting to advance up the ranks, and because of that others are prematurely forced to run the organization, although their lack of extensive experience.  This is what is to come should I not continue.  I'm not saying this out of pride or my ego, but that is the reality of the case, as the other senior members do not wish to move any higher in the hierarchy as well.  

As mentioned earlier, I am graduating in a year's time.  I don't want to squander the experiences I could have with other clubs and organizations.  There's so much more that I wish I could get involved in, and the current organization I'm in is conflicting with this.  It's not a bad thing, but this organization takes a lot of my time and effort, on a voluntary basis.  So I'm stuck between what I want to do, and what I should do to ensure the continuity of the organization (again, not my words).

There's too much going on, and it is going by so quickly that sometimes I just want to scream it out.  The world's only gonna get faster and faster from here on out, and I can only hope that I can keep up with the pace.  There's so much I want to experience, that I want to do, that I want to feel, that I reckon I'm demanding too much of my overachiever-self.  The worst part?  I've frankly yet to achieve anything.  And with a heavy sigh, I'll end here.  I realized that I was supposed to sleep an hour ago.  Well, goodnight.

Storms and Hurricanes - Animal Liberation Orchestra