Monday 4 February 2019

Stage

I seem to cry a lot in cars. I cried just last night. I was driving home from work, so you can imagine how hard it is when your vision is impeded by internal factors.

I walked right into that trap, though. I wanted to re-listen the A Star is Born discography.

Of course, it was the final song (arguably the saddest song) which triggered this. I thought about my grandfather. I recounted how it has been 10 years since I lost him. I reminded myself how badly I miss him.

That night, I received news that my granduncle (younger sibling to aforementioned grandfather) was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer shortly after he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.

Granduncle stated that if he's given the option, he will refuse medical support to prolong his life. I understand and respect his decision. He's already out-lived my grandfather by a decade, even out-smoking him to boot.

We paid him a visit yesterday. Doctor's gave him three months. He's been bemoaning how it's gonna take that long, and has been demanding for a cool Sarsi drink ever since. I guess I got my dry sense of humour from this side of the family.

It's interesting how we process death, once we can see it coming. A relief, somewhat.

I've had a whole decade to learn and process how I feel about death. I think I've begun to accept it, as opposed to lashing out and rejecting it.

I guess one way or another, we'll learn that it's inevitable. We can only do our best to wait for that moment.

* update on 13/02/2019 *

Granduncle passed away at 1 pm earlier that day. As much as it helps to know the inevitable, you can never really prepare for the day that comes.

At least he'll be in the good company of his elder brother, and they can have all the Sarsi/Kickapoo they want.

Although I didn't know him very well, that doesn't mean I love him any less. Rest in peace, Chek Kong. You had a real good run.

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