Sunday, 10 September 2017

Version

Futsal was shit because of selfish teammates.

OK Cupid bears some promise, even with some of the good ones deactivating their accounts.

Book draft V2 has been done, pending reviews before I make any edits.

Rick and Morty seems prospective. Cute coworker who suggested it remains super cute as well.

On that note, dating co-workers is a no-no for me, even if I manage to briefly overcome the occasional crippling anxiety.

That is all.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, 9 September 2017

Smother

I've been backdating on things here because gosh darn, it's much easier to tune out on writing and just watch some good TV shows instead.

Marvel's The Defenders peaked much too soon in the climax of the series, but does set the characters up well for their respective arcs.

Now Westworld, that's a different beast. Essentially non-linear (mild spoilers) and leaves you scratching your head up until episode 3, it's mixes the brutality of humanity along with the prospects of transhumanism. My cup of sci-fi nutjob philosophy set in the near future.

And for the main event, my rants on why Tinder is so polarising:

- Swipe Right to find out! (instead of using this actual space to write, you know, a bleeding bio)

- empty bios/ "ordinary person" trope. (Thanks, that was very enlightening)

- *insert vague motivational quote heavily (and usually horribly) paraphrased to insert some sort of unwanted gravitas*

- Bringing up all the past experiences because I need to know your rich history of failed exploits and botched relationships and how you're still salty from them

- (this, I'll get stick for) Grammar and spelling!! Words, properly constructed and curated to make a sentence flow! Maybe if you've some quip, layer bits of personality in there and not just come across as being boisterous.

- (now I can't take a proper photo myself) Work those pictures! Filters are only good for colour-correction and prevent you from looking like every other boring, cardboard-cutout person using this platform (to me, I know but this is my space so I'm unapologetic!). Pictures convey what words sometimes cannot. Show your personality, don't just laud it.

- Here for friends, love my boyfriend! (Facebook = social app; or Meetup, or tweak your settings, or just ughhhhhh not be on a dating app!)

- Tits




All in all, don't fall in to conventions and conveniences. You are fucking unique and talented and gifted in your own way. So quit hiding behind a facade of what you would call a "persona" and express yourself!

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Flash

I've gone on another deep dive.  So here's two short stories out of it.

Have at it.

Scathe

I want to know... How do you feel about Oni, now that he's happily married? 

I don't intend to make offense. Please, believe me. I just want some validation. On how deeply you can fall in love with someone, and not even have them be remotely involved in your life. 

Because I don't want to be the only person who feels that way about someone else. 

I don't want to be alone.  I don't want to acknowledge my loneliness. 

Riders

We both slump onto the creaky, patchy leather seats. From the back of the bus, we refute whatever existed ahead of our vision. For the first time, we were tired of love. The two of us gave up, hurt by others who we felt truly belonged with, but perhaps not to. 

You sunk your head onto my shoulder, your familiar scent lingering. I shrugged. Even in times of comfort, I was foolishly selfish. "I'm sorry" the words floated on, almost without meaning. 

She bowed her head. "I understand that you're not ready for that". 

So we sat in silence. Two broken lovers, just a headrest away. 

Perhaps you were what I needed back then. I was just too hurt to see that love wasn't for a singular person.

I should have loved you back.

One Last Time - Ariana Grande

Flint

It's odd... I'm on goddamn Tinder. The equivalent to leaving your job to work for Evil Corp (subtle Mr. Robot reference).

It could be my subconscious pushing me to become uncomfortable again. To really, truly be vulnerable again.

Either way, I've already met a friend on a similar app (yes, I'm two-timing Tinder with Bumble and OK Cupid). Naturally, I "nope-d" it. She was my high school senior.

Also, I'm seriously having writer's block on how to sell myself so that's dumb. Oh, and the database is rife with grammatical or spelling errors, which are almost always immediately followed by rejections.

All in all, it is somewhat interesting how dating can be gamified as well. And if anything, this helps desensitise myself to social anxiety.
posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, 29 July 2017

Job

"Hey, Fang. We're concerned about you and need to talk to you about something".

Panic and curiosity quietly settled. Having this conversation amidst an ongoing audit did not quell any fears, let alone the sight of my work colleagues/friends flank me three-to-one.

"We're concerned about your... Recent involvement in reporting about factory issues."

"Factory issues?" I thought. But I'm in QA. Clearly I play support all departments and would have to give precedence to pointing out any factory issues.

The second guy chimed in. "Yeah. If it was up to us, we'd pick up that candy wrapper at the changing room and throw it away. There was no need to post it in our company messaging group, to call out the other department heads".

Wait! Is this what's been bothering them? A dang wrapper?!

"Listen, I'm not going to just do so", I retorted, trying to mask my frowning at this... Collective ignorance.

The last guy chimes in. "Bro, just close one eye (aka turn a blind eye) and forget about it. It's a small problem. There's isn't a need for everyone to know."

So, that's their motive! Saving face from the higher ups. How petty. Oh shit, now I have to mask both confusion AND disappointment...

My hands refused to clasp my cutlery, as they started to animate. "Look, that issue is just a symptom. I want to solve the root cause. Staff need to -"

"Wah! Conducting Root Analysis already?" the first guy rudely interrupted. Well... There goes rational discussion. "Look at Fang! This isn't your job, why work so hard? Being a hotshot, bla bla bla".

At this point, I had completely switched off. There was no point to carry on with this conversation. I made up some bullshit excuse and left to resume my work.

I will not let anyone intimidate me into doing a lesser job for the sake of convenience.

Fuck convenience.

Fuck mediocrity.

Fuck complacency.

There goes a huge chunk of respect for said colleagues. This only further enforces my practice of not trying to make friends at the workspace.

What a bloody shame, and a fucking waste of talent.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Q

You'd think I'd be done with Quora by now. Me too!

But it's oddly refreshing to have my predispositions from a broken education system slowly distorted and soiled. Recently, that was my predisposition of the caring and merciful (no more) Mother Theresa, and how skewed Malaysian students have of her (go look it up).

I know I use the word "perhaps" too often to embrace life's uncertainty, but...

Perhaps in the current times of PC culture (which I've only recently learned stands for "politically correct") and propensity for disagreements or conflicting info being labelled as "fake", it's nice to have a platform where arguments are conducted with empirical evidence and by educated people.

Try comparing the Facebook comments section or Yahoo! Answers to Quora, on similar topics. I'll wait.

Sure, Quora does have a slowly growing community of race-baiting, intentionally-inflammatory questions (oftentimes posted by anonymous users - cowards), but these pointless people are oftentimes overwhelmed by intelligent humans with relevant experiences and not a degree from Google University.

So yeah, I suppose I am politically correct. But on the same token, I'd be happy if anyone could prove me wrong on things.

I am only but an educated idiot, with the Internet being a readily available source of information and as a result, misinformation.

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, 29 June 2017

Book

So... In my excitement I might have forgot to mention that I wrote a book ("finished" it last Wednesday)! It's an anthology of sorts, from my experiences in The States.

I'm really pumped, mainly because I can finally share it with others and it's currently undergoing the first round of reviews (from multiple friends).

That being said, I realised that I forgot to add in more segments so there might be a few more writeups in the first revision.

I've no plans to publish it at the moment. It'll need some visual illustrations to go with the final version of writing (whenever that may satisfy me) and I actually just thought of making a few prints to keep as a personal collection.

Who knows, things can change from now until then. I'm just glad that it is a thing now, and not just some Microsoft Word document sitting in my laptop hard drive.

posted from Bloggeroid