Thursday, 13 January 2022

29

It's 2 am. I've just spent three hours on Galatic Conquest mode on Star Wars Battlefront 2 (the OG one from 2005). I've binged my random YouTube videos, listened to an episode of a podcast, and am ready to tuck myself to bed.

But I can't sleep. I'm in tears, after hearing the late news that my university senior had nearly died. He's recovering now, surrounded by family and a strong support system. But a few weeks prior, he was in the ICU, having suffered a Covid-19 infection, a stroke, and a brain tumour all in one go. He's only in his early 30s.

That's just fucking terrifying.

As I lay in bed with a heavy heart, contemplating mortality, I am brought back down to earth on how blessed I am, to be safe, to be healthy, to be financially well-off to afford a five-odd month sabbatical in the midst of a global pandemic (although I'd deffo like to be employed sooner), all while being surrounded by the people I love. Above all, I truly pray and hope that he gets back on his feet soon, and that he makes a full recovery.

I go into a new year of my life with newfound appreciation for all the good things I've earned and have been given.

Only two days back did I visit a dentist for the first time in eight-odd years (due to neglect - don't be like me), and be let off the hook with only a single partially-decayed tooth and some tartar (shout out cousin Michelle Chew for the good service).

It's has indeed been a long time since I've last posted here, because there wasn't much of a need to post here. I'm blessed that way, I suppose.

And yet, I'm filled with this deep well of sadness that life isn't fair. Today is a rare occasion that I embrace sadness over angered motivation.

There's no purpose to this post. I could write on about the good things which happened (and i arguably should, versus just playing another video game).

I just wanted to give my thanks and appreciation and deepmost gratitude to all the love I've received so far. I only hope that I can give more love than I have gotten (and will get).

With much love,
29 year-old Fang

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