Flash

I've gone on another deep dive.  So here's two short stories out of it.

Have at it.

Scathe

I want to know... How do you feel about Oni, now that he's happily married? 

I don't intend to make offense. Please, believe me. I just want some validation. On how deeply you can fall in love with someone, and not even have them be remotely involved in your life. 

Because I don't want to be the only person who feels that way about someone else. 

I don't want to be alone.  I don't want to acknowledge my loneliness. 

Riders

We both slump onto the creaky, patchy leather seats. From the back of the bus, we refute whatever existed ahead of our vision. For the first time, we were tired of love. The two of us gave up, hurt by others who we felt truly belonged with, but perhaps not to. 

You sunk your head onto my shoulder, your familiar scent lingering. I shrugged. Even in times of comfort, I was foolishly selfish. "I'm sorry" the words floated on, almost without meaning. 

She bowed her head. "I understand that you're not ready for that". 

So we sat in silence. Two broken lovers, just a headrest away. 

Perhaps you were what I needed back then. I was just too hurt to see that love wasn't for a singular person.

I should have loved you back.

One Last Time - Ariana Grande

Flint

It's odd... I'm on goddamn Tinder. The equivalent to leaving your job to work for Evil Corp (subtle Mr. Robot reference).

It could be my subconscious pushing me to become uncomfortable again. To really, truly be vulnerable again.

Either way, I've already met a friend on a similar app (yes, I'm two-timing Tinder with Bumble and OK Cupid). Naturally, I "nope-d" it. She was my high school senior.

Also, I'm seriously having writer's block on how to sell myself so that's dumb. Oh, and the database is rife with grammatical or spelling errors, which are almost always immediately followed by rejections.

All in all, it is somewhat interesting how dating can be gamified as well. And if anything, this helps desensitise myself to social anxiety.

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