BLM

*written on 9th June*

Two months plus being alone in Klang was tough, emotionally more than anything else.

Thankfully, I've been able to safely return to PJ for the past two weeks as the Movement Control Order (MCO) had been loosened to a Conditional Movement Control Order (CMCO).

It was very comforting to see that my family is safe, aside from our weekly updates via the family WhatsApp group chat.

I got to see Jols as well. It took some time for me to readjust to being around people I care for (and not just colleagues or inconsiderate Klang housemates).

I held her for a long time, both of us staying silent. I didn't know when to let go, possibly fearing that I've forgotten how to express care and gratitude. She was patient. I'm grateful for that, and thankful for her.

And then sadly, George Floyd died in the hands of police brutality. Another innocent black man, robbed of his life. Amidst a pandemic lockdown, riots took to the streets across the US. Police brutality escalates, even the military is mobilised.

Trump cowers in his White House bunker, a modern caricature of Adolf Hitler at the end of his fascist regime. Every day my disdain towards him grows, how he has perverted the US in such a short period. The National Guard could have been mobilized with COVID-19 testing centers been established months ago. Instead they'd rather mobilise them to wage war against their own citizens, committing war crimes by tear gassing peaceful protesters and destroying medical stations.

Despite all this cacophony, NASA SpaceX had ushered in a new chapter in interstellar travel, with Dragon 2 being launched into the ISS. I suppose these astronauts were lucky to get away from it all.

2020 is a crazy time to be alive. I can only beg for no repeats. No more hate crimes and no more senseless violence. And I'm on my knees, hoping for a better world tomorrow, as we heal and grow, with the pain, and hopefully past the pain.

Black Lives Matter.

posted from Bloggeroid

COVID-19

I never thought I'd have to live through a global pandemic.

It's been four months since a novel strain of Coronavirus popped out of Wuhan, China.  In between, a new Malaysian backdoor government (I'll call it for what it is) usurped the previous Pakatan Harapan administration to install the crooks and the corrupted back in power.  All without a single vote.  And out of spite, I hope their reign is only remembered through this COVID-19 crisis, and their ineptitude in handling it (Dr. Dzul under the PH government led the country's healthcare system admirably to mitigate the COVID-19 spread).

It's 10 pm now.  I've set up a mini-Command center in my Klang rental house, with a live stream of Astro Awani playing in the background.  The new PM is about to give a live press conference, hinting at a possible nationwide lockdown as the pandemic spreads further throughout the globe.

Italy has been hit hard recently, with around 1500 deaths daily.  The US, under abhorrent leadership, has lost the confidence of many people.  China's fudging the numbers of how severe it is on their home soil, adding to the doubt cast upon it's government in handling the disease.

I went through Giant Bukit Tinggi, and two 99 Speedmarts already.  All packed.  Some shelves have been cleared out.  I got some non-perishable food, hoping that maybe I won't need them.  It wouldn't last past ten days, anyway.  I had little space in my bags nor was I willing to stay out in crowded areas.

I've set up a bug out kit of sorts, ready to fuck back off to PJ to my parents in five minutes.  It's getting dicey.

Maybe I'm paranoid, but it's getting terrifying out there.

The new PM is currently live.  He has announced "controlled movement" from 18th to 31st March.  It's real.  Fucking hell, this is awful.

If you're reading this, friend, family, whoever, I love you.  I hope we can survive this.  

Moves

Yes, I'm writing this post because Jols asked me if I've posted anything recently.

Yes, I've dropped the ball a bit. I've taken less time to talk about my life and more time to alleviate whatever stresses/stressors I've in my life so far.

I've been trying to workout more often. Aside from the boring (and culinary pain) of phasing out my weekdays dinners for yoghurt, nuts and fruits, I've been trying to get some 30-minute blurps of cycling with my housemate's exercise bike (since I don't run as much).

Oddly enough (and I guess thanks to the trashy KSI v Logan Paul fight), I've been picking up boxing. Not partaking in the sport, though. I'm not fond of doing any combat sports. Just watching and appreciating the sport.

Aside from that, I'm learning to be more aware of my demeanour around others. Jols had called me out on a few occasions on my shit, and I am truly thankful for that, especially on my occasional hypocrisy and understanding consent better. Baby steps to being a better person.

Speaking of which, I'm extremely grateful to have her as a girlfriend. Having gone to church with her last weekend, it's a unique experience to revisiting Christianity, given how I've been burned by bad experiences with religion in the past. Not the fault of the religion, I must clarify. It's just a series of bad times I've had in the past.

But having to see the inner works of a person's world? That's a huge amount of trust to be... Entrusted upon (unintentional pun, sorry). I'm so grateful for her.

Work's been... Polarising. Having grown into a position of bigger influence at the workplace means double the work and twice the conflicts. Honestly, I don't know if I can handle another year here. But hey, if I do get a promotion, it might be good enough of a reason to stay.

I'm concerned for my recognition, KPI-wise, since I didn't get too much "initiatives" done in 2019, but I know I've done enough to warrant some consideration for a step up, especially since my colleague and boss had resigned a few months back. I'm now the most experienced person in the team. Time to leverage that advantage.

Also, I know didn't talk about grandma having suffered a stroke two years back, but having just seen the massive improvements she's made to her ability to speak full sentences via a phone conversation, it warms my heart. Currently in Ipoh for her birthday celebration. I'm gonna try and ignore the fact that my birthday comes around shortly after.

I guess this is a weird review of 26 year-old Fang as he grows a year older. I know I've made big improvements in the past year. Here's to making bigger moves in 2020.

Also, I love Magic the Gathering so much. I guess this is my Gunpla-equivalent phase for my twenties.

posted from Bloggeroid