Four

Haven't been writing on this blog lately, due to the increasing workload at work and the respective stress relieving session due to them.

Just a brief recap of the past two, three weeks :

1) Cousin got married, so good on him! Managed to meet the family after 5 years and it was great to be able to rekindle my relationship with my other cousins, since I have made strides since the shy teenager back then.

2) Watched a movie alone for the first time. Wasn't great, the movie (X-Men: Apocalypse) but I needed the entertainment. And it was an interesting feeling, doing things alone. It felt somewhat liberating, even at the expense of my dwindling social circle.

3) Speaking of which, made a good friend at work and she's pretty nice, and cute, and slightly clumsy, which are charming traits. Plus she has a boyfriend, so that helps to keep me grounded.

4) Also along those lines, met a Product Specialist from one of our suppliers about their new catalogue and she's pretty cute as well. Didn't make any moves because... Well that's pretty creepy and not to mention, very unprofessional. Me and my problems.

5) Fasted with Sabrina as she was free for dinner on the weekday. She was nice enough to drive over here to dine with me. We had cheeky Nando's, which isn't as spicy as I thought it was.

6) Having more doubts about work, due to increasingly unrealistic expectations and an expanding range of products, which leads to an absurd amount of work that needs to be done (on top of the current workload). We'll have to see how will I cope with this. I'm not optimistic.

7) Finally jogged after 3 weeks of picking football over it. And I finally managed to do 4 km continuously, albeit at a slower time. Will need to start watching my calorie consumption if I'm ever gonna lose tummy fat. I can see some stretch marks on my thighs, which is encouraging (and downright gross).

8) And I've been lacking sleep these past weeks. Because I can't seem to worry less because of said stressful work and my never-failing shotgun thought process.

posted from Bloggeroid

Fork

Recently I've been berating my job because of the stress and unnecessary hoops I've to jump through. On three occasions have I contemplated resignation, and I've barely been there for three months. It's a vicious cycle of being unable to deliver on expectations and yet, not having the training or guidance to meet those expectations.

Went things go well (meaning that we detect no problems in our products), things can be smooth-sailing. However, when things oddly go bad (I've seen two so far), my boss quickly rears her head and gives everyone hell. That's what bums me, because the team gets unnerved as a result and her hairdryer treatment seldom yields positive results as she tends to just accuse others of incompetence than to provide constructive criticism.

But after meeting with my mother's extended family over the weekend, I can see how proud and excited they are for my recent occupation. It's slowly growing on me that I've been recognised to be a competent adult and maybe that's just the push I need to soldier on with this position. It really depends on how the week starts, especially since my colleague is on leave for the week.

Also, one of my key team players had handed me his resignation letter just before I got off work today. I can't seem to shake the idea that my lack of strong leadership through challenges played a part in his decision. I dread finding someone to replace him.

Final note, I played my first football game with the kids in my new community. Albeit I had only played for half an hour, I found myself overrunning dribbles and misplacing simple passes. One kid even called me an uncle. I'll show that runt when I return to the pitch tomorrow.

Just kidding. I'll probably get schooled. But hey, at least I get to assume the eventual role of player/coach when I get to know them better. Plus it's a good excuse to get back to peak fitness levels.

posted from Bloggeroid

See

Beneath your complex nature,
Winding passages and snaking stairwells,
I see you.

Past the awesome masks,
(un)forced smiles,
The personal facades.

Past the rotating mirrors,
Occasionally reflecting outward,
The world you deny insight to.

I see you,
Or what I perceive to be you,
Misdirection is your art anyway.

And it's beautiful.
Formless, shapeless, malleable,
Versatile when needed to be.

Don't take this as admiration,
Nor praise,
Nor confession.

Simply know that you're not alone,
For I relate to the layered responses.
Hopefully, you see past my facade too.

posted from Bloggeroid