Tournament

Well, the Futsal tournament was fun. Really should have scored in the first game, pulling off some neat touches and running at the defence.

Second game saw us concede a sloppy goal, and lose possession too often due to long ball tactics, so our team didn't progress past the group stages. I did make two goal-saving tackles in that game though.

Been laying in my bed for the past two hours listening to podcasts and having micro-sleeps.

I'm sure my body will feel awful tomorrow.

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School

It's the night before game day and I can't sleep. Maybe it's the pre-game jitters again.

Or maybe, it's because I've a good day and was left with thought-provoking questions. Sabrina had proposed for us to write a book about the four of us weirdos: Joey (her boyfriend) , Nicole (her childhood friend), herself and I.

That actually sounds interesting.

Earlier today, Sabrina and I had attended Art for Grabs at Jaya One. And I got to meet the sweetest kid, who was one of the artist there. He touched my heart, and he's only 9 years old. Definitely made my day.

Disclaimer : I've tried to post the picture of me and the kid, Brandon, but my phone won't let me. Until I get on my laptop...

*edit* Finally did it.

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Evaporated

Just a tidbit of advice: When you're off the clock, you're off the clock.

Having to read thinly-veiled borderline insinuating work-related messages before bed is pretty much the worse way to prep for the next working day.

It is indeed very hard to motivate myself for work in an environment where criticism is rife and empowerment is devoid of form.

In the whole thick of things, for someone to be transfixed on a microcosm of minor mistakes and miss the bigger picture, really makes it difficult to be inspired to work harder.

This doesn't change my stance, no matter how my principles might be. I want to be wrong about the lack of prospects in this job.

So far though, there's nothing to suggest a reversal. Sigh.

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Strings

Whoops. Meant to post this last week as I had wrote the entry on my phone when travelling to Ipoh to visit my mom's side of the family. Well, here goes.

My recent weeks have been much better, since Sabr had been on her semester break. Last Friday night, we had watched Kubo and the Two Strings, which I highly recommend.

Her presence always seemed to bring out the most philosophical insights in me. The biggest point of our conversations was on "stagnation".

Yeah... That's the best word I can categorise it thus far. We're both (and I guess it extends to most fresh grads) experiencing an excitingly blank phase in our lives. It's the feeling of not knowing what is out there, even just a few months down the road.

That lack of foresight really gets in the way of planning for the future. There's a vision of what I want to do in the near future (getting back to Graduate School), but I can't figure out what my next six months would be.

So here we are, somewhat invigorated by the freedom and the world at our front door, yet being gradually desensitised to the novelty and excitement of the experience.

What motivates us to keep moving? To stick with the same job, to stay with a partner, to know that these are investments, and that all investments have an element of risk involved? It's hard to say.

All I know is this: when something is going good in life or turning out well, don't question it!

We are so quick to worry about things that went wrong, but we don't do enough of the opposite.

The tough times in life are not holding any punches. So take the good times with both hands and hold them tight. I think we deserve at least that.

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Quiet

Sabr: What do you want people to remember you by?

Me: I'd like them to see me as an inspiration, "quietly brilliant". The "quiet" part is a little tricky.

Gotta keep working towards that.

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