I had a sudden urge to run. This upcoming company audit has made work extra shitty this week and I needed to distract myself.
And so I laced up, added the most bass-driven hip-hop/rap tunes I could think of to my running playlist, and took off. I didn't even bother timing myself.
What a fuck up that was.
Ten minutes. That's how long I lasted before the music melted away and the floodgates in my mind broke open.
My mind was finally unbound, ideas burgeoning without restraint, now inexorable because I had broken the lock.
I couldn't stop. Thoughts swirled in my head as though my body was a husk with someone else piloting it, racing through my personal psychoanalysis of recent dreams, to my dating life, to my floundering career, whelming my mind as I realized the horrors of what I have locked up.
I never thought that video games and TV shows had such a profound effect in limiting my mental capacity to conjure up all these notions. Escapism has its merits, but isn't this all just illusionary? How long can I stanch this stream of consciousness with pop culture references and in-game micro-management?
Running didn't take my mind off my problems as much as it revealed the real issues buried deeper within me.
Oh, no.
It had only compensated my physical wellbeing for my mental health.
And so I laced up, added the most bass-driven hip-hop/rap tunes I could think of to my running playlist, and took off. I didn't even bother timing myself.
What a fuck up that was.
Ten minutes. That's how long I lasted before the music melted away and the floodgates in my mind broke open.
My mind was finally unbound, ideas burgeoning without restraint, now inexorable because I had broken the lock.
I couldn't stop. Thoughts swirled in my head as though my body was a husk with someone else piloting it, racing through my personal psychoanalysis of recent dreams, to my dating life, to my floundering career, whelming my mind as I realized the horrors of what I have locked up.
I never thought that video games and TV shows had such a profound effect in limiting my mental capacity to conjure up all these notions. Escapism has its merits, but isn't this all just illusionary? How long can I stanch this stream of consciousness with pop culture references and in-game micro-management?
Running didn't take my mind off my problems as much as it revealed the real issues buried deeper within me.
Oh, no.
It had only compensated my physical wellbeing for my mental health.
posted from Bloggeroid
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