Move

Took me a while to post this up.  I've had it as a draft for... two weeks, now?  Yep.

Annoyingly, Ariana Grande's "Thank U, Next" is playing on an internal loop.

 

I've had days to think this through. To process the grief, to guilt myself with the biggest secret I've kept from my family for over a year.  It's a gutshot, to be plain.  Because it was abrupt.  But I know you.  It must have killed you inside for you to make that decision.

I understand.  I want to liken my friends and say that I can't fathom it, but I get it.  To that extent, I do know you.  As a results, I can feel you, too.

I'm saddened, but I'm also hopeful, optimistic, and passionate for the future.  In the recent days, I've learned to appreciate how much I've grown when we were together.  I hope you had the same sentiments.  

You've always had my back.  Even when I'm feeling down and stressed out post-us, I can hear you cheering me on.  It's not a yearning of what it could have been, but an appreciation of what was made.  

Thanks to you, I can love someone else. I love you, until I eventually don't. I honestly hope you feel the same.  You take care, now.

Thank U, Next - Ariana Grande

Midnight - Tor Miller

Devoid

I'm trying something out here, in which I'll vomit out my thought process with minimal edits and no review. All without context, because I'm an idiot and it's my say-so. Here goes:



This is a "it's not you, it's me" situation.

It's not your fault. You couldn't change her. You could work on yourself, but this isn't about you now. It's her. This is her choice.

You can either reject it, or accept it. Nothing you do can influence this outcome. Only she has the power to change this.

Nothing has changed, in a good way. You're still in a good spot. You're alive. She's alive. Just untethered from one another. Isn't that your choice, though? Thinking that you were somewhat connected despite all the adversity out there?

Never mind that. No victim blaming. You don't win here. You can only pick yourself up and move on. Keep moving. You've done this before. Ish. Well, not really.

Take a breather. Go for that stupid run to put your fragility into perspective and reforge yourself.

You've always wanted the ball on her court to be passed on. She's made her decision. What's yours?

posted from Bloggeroid