Stage

I seem to cry a lot in cars. I cried just last night. I was driving home from work, so you can imagine how hard it is when your vision is impeded by internal factors.

I walked right into that trap, though. I wanted to re-listen the A Star is Born discography.

Of course, it was the final song (arguably the saddest song) which triggered this. I thought about my grandfather. I recounted how it has been 10 years since I lost him. I reminded myself how badly I miss him.

That night, I received news that my granduncle (younger sibling to aforementioned grandfather) was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer shortly after he was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.

Granduncle stated that if he's given the option, he will refuse medical support to prolong his life. I understand and respect his decision. He's already out-lived my grandfather by a decade, even out-smoking him to boot.

We paid him a visit yesterday. Doctor's gave him three months. He's been bemoaning how it's gonna take that long, and has been demanding for a cool Sarsi drink ever since. I guess I got my dry sense of humour from this side of the family.

It's interesting how we process death, once we can see it coming. A relief, somewhat.

I've had a whole decade to learn and process how I feel about death. I think I've begun to accept it, as opposed to lashing out and rejecting it.

I guess one way or another, we'll learn that it's inevitable. We can only do our best to wait for that moment.

* update on 13/02/2019 *

Granduncle passed away at 1 pm earlier that day. As much as it helps to know the inevitable, you can never really prepare for the day that comes.

At least he'll be in the good company of his elder brother, and they can have all the Sarsi/Kickapoo they want.

Although I didn't know him very well, that doesn't mean I love him any less. Rest in peace, Chek Kong. You had a real good run.

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2018

Year in review! I try to make it an effort to catalog my life as I move through phases and even then, my waning memory can forget or overlook recent events.

So here's my self-reminder of 2018's best hits.

Black Panther - this show was so early in the year that I oftentimes forget that Spiderman Homecoming and Infinity War (edit: forgot about Ant Man and the Wasp as well) were featured in the same year. Marvel had a good year ahead and look to build on their franchise, while DC bumbles through the painfully wayward Justice League.

Langkawi - a 13-person trip with my secondary school buddies was always gonna be a tricky arrangement. Thankfully the trip had minimal hitches and the team really pulled through.

GE14 - A start of "Malaysia baru". And although it's early stages, this cabinet is a younger, more progressive group of muppets still. Only time will tell if they'll be good on their word.

Personal wellbeing - whether it be dating, exercise, or building connections. I've begun taking bigger steps to watching my diet (on some, sparse occasions) and I've been pushing myself to exercise more. Plus, an obvious bonus that I've been dating someone.

The XX live - been too long since I went to a concert. This was pretty good, at a not-ideal location. Forgot how early in the year this was.

Revisiting the US - getting to revisit the (so far) best years of my life has profound implications. It was a time warp with many inflections as I went through pre-reverse culture shock in a warped landscape (mainly due to the change in leadership).

Magic: The Gathering - this was my official first foray into MTG as a player and hobby. I have made so many friends as a result and have understood myself more as a person through playing with cardboard (I know, right?). Being a somewhat complex game (moderate floor, high ceiling), you naturally interact with smart people and that's always a good thing.

Finished my book - yep! Now I don't know how to publish it.

That was 2018 in a nutshell. Here's to a better 2019, as I'm hitting the supposed prime years of my life.

Time to live up to my expectations.

With determination and love,
Fang

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Giraffe

Here's a post to prove I'm still alive.

I've not been writing frequently as well... I don't do travel posts anymore (by the way, Kunming was great).

Life's alright. And as I'm moving towards 2019, I've hastily set up a PRS account to start investing (in this case, into the government).

While it might not be the best choice, I'm sure I'll learn better when the consequences are real (ie losing money). One small step towards financial literacy!

Also, I had this random recollection of a kid's joke I never understood:

Question: What's a vampire's favourite food?
Answer: A giraffe.

Okay. Aside from remembering an obscure joke from a Halloween book when I was 11 (I traded my World Cup 98 picture book for this shitty ass thing), I have only recently found out why I didn't understand the joke at that point.

Here's a bit of backstory. You see, as a kid, my parents had unsubscribed to all the cartoon channels off Astro, a major network provider outside of the local channels. So in order to stave off boredom, my siblings and I opted to watch the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet and National Geographic. We all caught up on context? Cool.

So as a kid, I never understood why would a giraffe be an ideal choice (its for the neck, duh). As a predator, I'd pick a more sufficient prey. Why take an easy-ish target like a giraffe when I can snag the prey with the most blood-to-body-mass ratio? A giraffe was so inefficient, and this was me overlooking the fact that I'm role-playing a goddamn vampire, a fictitious entity.

Clearly I was overreaching with the logic gate there but hey, that was me back in the day.

Anyway, happy belated Christmas and here's to a better year.

posted from Bloggeroid

Glow

It's 3 am midweek.

I'm exhausted from a long day at work, an equally long FIFA catchup session, getting caught in a monsoon downpour, and working to eradicate yet another unwanted cockroach in my clean (promise) bathroom.

And yet, instead of sleeping, I'm staring at a picture of you, so I can see you in my dreams. I hope you obsess over me just as much.

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Chase

Our dreams are odd reconstructions of daily mishmash, and yet, I find them somewhat (really) intriguing to decipher.

We recall familiar faces and characters, and our subconscious selves tries to piece together constructs into semi-tangible entities to fill in the gaps of logic.

A few weeks back, I "had" this lady. I knew it was a dream because she carried no scent on her. We roamed the city, walked through parks, and even disturbed the owner of some temple nearby (it's a dream, don't ask too much). We flashed discomforting smiles as we scuttled from the last scene.

She made everything easy, and we were very comfortable around each other. I prodded her arm, she nudged me back, simple gestures of some form of coy endearment. Behind her bob cut, stood a bubbly, adventurous and whimsical lass.

I was still smitten by the time the low hum of the ceiling fan dragged me back into reality. I immediately tried to lull back sleep to find her again. A vain and naïve (filled with a hint of uneasiness) attempt to chase a fleeting image.

I wanted to dive back in not just to see her, but because I didn't know her. Not that face. In fact, I couldn't place her looks. I knew her personality, but not her appearance. She's made up, and I don't know her inception.

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Face

In one of the many YouTube videos I had downloaded in backlog, I came across a Nat Geo segment on the youngest recipient of a facial transplant.

What was a quick 2-minute tease showed the important bits of context. A young lady needed a facial transplant after a traumatic injury. After three years, she finally found a suitable donor.

Upon being (thankfully) baited into reading the entire segment on Nat Geo, I was shown a very delicate and fascinating story of a family recovering from a tradegy and persevering through many difficulties and placing their faith in both God, and modern medicine.

It was very touching, to see the empathy of human beings at their very best. Without spoiling too much, I emplore you to check out National Geographic's segment called "Katie's Face". And big warning, many images are graphic as it involves loads of surgery.

Sidenote, I'm trying to push for a double date next week as Shufs's boyfriend is coming down to Malaysia and I've never met the guy before. Seeing as Shufs has never met my date, it seemed like a good, terrible, cute idea to have.

Here's to hoping she's free.

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Mission

Sorry. There's not been much to talk about, really. And most of my thoughts have either been expressed to my friends or have been resolved in my head already.

Took part in my first Standard event for Magic, some two weeks back. Mainly because I wanted to support the LGS and built a deck with all the spare parts I've cracked from packs.

I've promised not to spend money on standard as it's a huge cash sink, but I'm unopposed to taking part in some events, if the prize structure is fair. I'm mainly in it for cheaper booster packs.

I guess that's the brunt of this write-up. Just a brief update on my uneventful life.

I've been told that I've a problem in which I can switch from full empathy to absolute emotional detachment. But I don't see this as an issue. Is that odd?

Maybe it's because I'm living with a rather emotional housemate who lashes out at world when things don't go her way. I mean, she's a friend, but she's also ostensibly reactive to the world, as though it's out to get her.

Lastly, I just watched Mission Impossible: Fallout with the parents. Great movie. And it seems that the quality of the movie is inversely proportional to the amount of screen time Tom Cruise is running in.

Also, Vanessa Kirby? Hot damn.

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