Year(n)

"She will never know how much she means to me. For her sake, she never will."

Remember, future readers:

What you feel isn't necessarily what others feel. Thus, how you cope with things are simply reserved for you alone. Additionally, no one will know your feelings until you've expressed them.

You deserve your own happiness. How you decide to come to that is entirely up to you. I trust that you will decide wisely.

posted from Bloggeroid

45

So this might be a little late, so I apologize for the tardiness.  Somehow, the blogger app in my phone couldn't post things over a 4G network so I'm posting this from the comforts of my parent's place instead.

Last Tuesday had revealed the results of the 2016 Presidential Elections, pitting Donald Trump against Hillary Clinton.  I'll go on record to say that I've backed the Democrats, even before Clinton became the party's nominee (for reasons/views mentioned later).

However disappointingly, we have to look forward to a Trump presidency instead.  I was/still am livid, just fuming with anger and sadness in a swirl of negativity to try and comprehend the next four years under his reign.  America, you have let me down.  

This is the now President-elect who was uniquely unqualified in every regard (besides showmanship), who has run his entire campaign on shunning and discriminating people of colour and of disability, was not even backed by his own party, and was endorsed by the KKK (yes, that Ku Klux Klan).  A man who will unfortunately and undeserving of, will have to be in the history books for future generations to know of.

I looked up to you. Heck, the world looked up to you, even if you lamented the mantle of being a global superpower.  But you spat in our faces. You showed us that deep-seated white supremacy triumphs the progressive, tolerant, inclusive society which has grown over the past decades. Racism is alive. Misogyny is alive. Bigotry is alive.  And this backwards mentality shall swallow you whole, even if the world is a mere passer-by.

It hurts, to see Trump's baseless facts and anti-immigration narrative (to name a few) sway the American people to side with him.  Granted Hillary wasn't the most appealing of candidates as well, with her baggage of corruption and scandals (emails, DNC dealings and whatnot) hamstringing her campaign as it neared election day.

To those who argue that I shouldn't care so much about foreign affairs, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you and fuck your ignorance. If you'd rather be sitting lofty in your own bubble without a care about the things happening outside of your community or country, then you've proven my point. Caring too much might make it hurt a lot more, but not caring at all is a crime and disservice to the other people inhabiting this Earth.

They're terrified, that this level of abuse and injustice has been justified in the form of Donald J Trump. And like it or not, his name will be written in the history books, for good (or more realistically) bad reasons.  I believe the aftermaths of this election can be summarized by what Van Jones had to say.

So bring on the hurt, because if that's what it takes to make the whole world a better place, you can be sure as Hell to see me fighting for equal rights and equal opportunities.  Just overnight, I've woken to posts and messages of friends getting harassed, abused, and it hurts.  It's only been two days, and this shit is flooding my social circle.

I am terrified.  I am furious.  And there's nothing positive coming out of this so far.  I pray that I'm wrong.  But frankly, I don't think so.

I'll end this post with multiple songs to help with the mulling.

Bright Lights - Matchbox 20

Minority - Green Day

Power - Kanye West

*edit

I was in a rush to post this and totally forgot to add one last point: we need to have these conversations about politics and have them more often.  It is important for us to normalize these kinds of discussion so that we do not fall into the trap of being stuck in our social and news bubble.  

Also, a (not so) fun fact - 62% of Americans receive their sole news from Facebook.  That is a startling number and given how Facebook can be a platform to disseminate false news and have them just circulate your news feed, it is a very big and bad problem.

Spent

So it's been seven months working and I was hoping to reach my RM10,000 mark in savings so I can start investing in other fronts.  Sadly, money was in savings for a reason.  In no particular order, here were my "big" expenses in the past three weeks.

Serviced my car

Replaced faulty car radio

Started health insurance payment

FIFA 17 (went splitsies with Roger)

New futsal shoes (my old ones of five years had finally broke)

New Ascension set (Ascension X: War of Shadows) from the US (Kevin is back from Texas for a bit so he brought it back).

I guess that I'll have to wait to year end to start investment funding.  At least I can take pride in knowing I'm the first Malaysian to own Ascension X.

Good Together - HONNE

Two

I had planned to spend my boring Tuesday night playing video games (just got Quantum Break; time travel hurts my head) and watching a movie (Cowboy Bebop: The Movie). 

Instead of that I had a near-two-hour-long discussion about US politics with Jordan, as we volleyed questions back and forth. No word on how we're doing, or anything happening around us, solely on the upcoming Presidential Elections. 

I'm glad that my plans were disrupted.

Two - Space Captain

Tournament

Well, the Futsal tournament was fun. Really should have scored in the first game, pulling off some neat touches and running at the defence.

Second game saw us concede a sloppy goal, and lose possession too often due to long ball tactics, so our team didn't progress past the group stages. I did make two goal-saving tackles in that game though.

Been laying in my bed for the past two hours listening to podcasts and having micro-sleeps.

I'm sure my body will feel awful tomorrow.

posted from Bloggeroid

School

It's the night before game day and I can't sleep. Maybe it's the pre-game jitters again.

Or maybe, it's because I've a good day and was left with thought-provoking questions. Sabrina had proposed for us to write a book about the four of us weirdos: Joey (her boyfriend) , Nicole (her childhood friend), herself and I.

That actually sounds interesting.

Earlier today, Sabrina and I had attended Art for Grabs at Jaya One. And I got to meet the sweetest kid, who was one of the artist there. He touched my heart, and he's only 9 years old. Definitely made my day.

Disclaimer : I've tried to post the picture of me and the kid, Brandon, but my phone won't let me. Until I get on my laptop...

*edit* Finally did it.

posted from Bloggeroid

Evaporated

Just a tidbit of advice: When you're off the clock, you're off the clock.

Having to read thinly-veiled borderline insinuating work-related messages before bed is pretty much the worse way to prep for the next working day.

It is indeed very hard to motivate myself for work in an environment where criticism is rife and empowerment is devoid of form.

In the whole thick of things, for someone to be transfixed on a microcosm of minor mistakes and miss the bigger picture, really makes it difficult to be inspired to work harder.

This doesn't change my stance, no matter how my principles might be. I want to be wrong about the lack of prospects in this job.

So far though, there's nothing to suggest a reversal. Sigh.

posted from Bloggeroid