Mistake(n)

Yes, I'm well aware that I am intentionally making what seems to be a mistake.  At least the skeptical side of me says so.

The rational side says that I'm taking a chance.

Please be worth it

Poparium No. 1 - Music de Wolfe

Campaign

I was selected to be one of the five nominees for the upcoming ADTP Student Committee presidential campaign last week.  I spent three days (ish) listing down my credentials to make a good and lasting impression.  However, I failed to even conjure a single bit of vision of the committee should I take charge. 

That wasn't the only disappointment.  I lost almost all composure once I stepped in that room.  Even amongst my peers, I couldn't bring out a solid display.  That was what made me so demoralized that day.  It wasn't because I didn't get presidency, the five of us candidates were flexible on who became president; I was frustrated because I didn't give it my all.  And that just brings me down.

I put up a convincing display to tell my fellow peers that I was okay with my speech.  I don't deserve their sympathy that time.

*sigh*  Well, on the flip-side, I got a $ 4,000 scholarship from Iowa State U per year for the International Student Ambassador Scholarship.  It's the minimum quantum, with the max being $ 7,000.  But hey, who am I to be picky?

Hold Me Now - Thompson Twins

Changes

Forget the countless scenarios I play in my head, forget all the "if"s or ideas.

If you don't do anything after that notion or thought, nothing changes.  No matter how much you convince yourself.

Go out to the world, and show them who you are, in your own words, in your own way.

I believe you can be more than this.

From, 

Yourself

Take Me Away (Acoustic) - Lifehouse

Flicker

What started off with a burning passion,

now flickers at the mercy of the breeze,

the one that nurtured its growth.

Fluctuating intensities,

with the fury of the wind's gale,

and yet holds warmth in its glow.

Even when vulnerable,

it's as beautiful as when fully blossomed,

and sparks dissipate the darkness.

I've hid my burn marks,

a reminder of what ferocity lies within,

but yet that viciousness draws me closer.

A pulsating embrace,

given the veil of a blanket,

under false pretenses.

Now the ember is near its end,

and the ambient atmosphere nearing loss,

still I cling onto it.

The flame's dying,

and I wish to prolong our ties,

but I've ran out of time.

Everlasting Light - The Black Keys

Disgust

The sight of people cutting queues in a supermarket, just to weigh their vegetables; such a minor and unimportant task, and yet they have the nerve to simply barge in and assume that it's their divine right to be served first. Even to the point of trying to do the cashier's job for him!

Utterly atrocious and sickening. What the hell happened to the basic moral principles of Malaysians?

I'll admit, my upbringings were NEVER like that.  And it's not just me.  The difference in generations is there to show.

Face Me - EarlyRise

Blamer

*impending explosion*

Dear future you, Fang Hao.

When faced with a problem, don't point that bloody finger of yours or moan about it like a bitch.

CALM THE FUCK DOWN, IDIOT!

Sincerely, 

yourself when applying for Iowa State University.

Open Your Eyes (Original Mix) -

 Alex Metric and Steve Angello ft. Ian Brown

Exodus

WHEW!  I've finally returned to Studio 46 after a week-long, self imposed exodus.  Seems back to normal, which is good, by all means.  I've made sure to completely purge my room of any problems, with a large whiff of Dettol disinfectant.  I also left my fan on full blast to evenly distribute the cloud of chemical ward.  For the time being, I guess I can endure the aroma of life-shortening CFC as opposed to the splatter of hemolymph everywhere.  Though I'm still finding some trouble sitting down on the toilet seat, in fear that something uninviting might pop up. 

And Blogger has a new design.  Can't complain.

Now back to piano practice.

Road To Zion - Damian Marley

Cafe

Well the whole cockroach incident hasn't fully concluded yet, as I learned that one had sneaked into my room and another still lurking about in the bathroom.  So I buckled under the trauma and am currently staying at Cafe 32, probably for the entire week.

To add insult to injury, my first day back in college sees my favorite mamak (to be fair, the only mamak around campus) closed down for some "Laksa Shack" and that my much-adored Fried Rice with Beef stall closed down.  I won't lie.  I felt like crap.

But things are (hopefully) turning around.  Yesterday, my dad got some cockroach traps from Daiso (only RM 2 for ANYTHING!!) so I deployed 2 of them in my room and 2 in my brother's room.  Hopefully those suckers die.  Not to mention that I'm starting to learn how to cook.  Today with the help of my mom, I made Barbecued Pork Ribs and bruchettas for the family.  It's a start.

Photograph - Jamie Cullum

Disgust

There I was that Saturday night, happily singing songs all by myself when a cockroach appeared from beneath my study table and crawled up the wall I was facing.  My song ended with "laaaaa ---  wooaahh!!".  As I leaped from my seat and grabbed the travel pamphlet of Gold Coast intended to be recycled.  

With a bottle if disinfectant on one hand and the makeshift weapon on the other, I spritzed the abomination face first.  To my fears, it was the flying type, as it flew to the floor.  I hesitated, thinking of not whether to leave an assured stain of hemolymph should I strike to kill with the first blow.  It made a mad dash for the toilet, and I went for the kill.  SMACK!  I got it. Victor once again, albeit unconvincingly.

With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I disposed of the body and walked back to my study desk.  Then another one scrambled towards my feet.  Like the cockroach-fearing OCD person I am, I jumped backwards, exclaiming a loud "WHOA!".  My brother next door grew concerned and yelled back:  "WHAT?!".  "There's a cockroach," I said, as I smacked it dead.  Then I heard more scratching noises.  It wasn't good news.

I only managed a glimpse of the third pest squeezing itself pass the small gap between my insect net before I panicked.  Immediately I hollered out to my brother for help as there were more at the other side of the net.  The worse part, I couldn't seal the gap.  With his help, he (almost) singlehandedly took out another THREE roaches, before proceeding back to sleep.

Fearing that there may be more, I slept in his room on the hardwood floor.  Sleep was incredibly uncomfortable, but it was a heck a lot better than dealing with those disgusting insects.  Too bad that wasn't the end.

This morning I went back to the room to assess the severity of the damage.  The result, 25, YES TWENTY GODDAMN FIVE cockroaches clumping together between the shower panels of our bathroom.  It took us an hour and a lot of messiness to kill them all.  As for why they came in, I had no idea.  It wasn't for the food, and I think the entry of one acted like a domino effect, leaving a trail of filth for others to follow.

Well, my brother had to leave so I cleaned up all the mess from my room, to the bathroom, to his.  It wasn't pleasant, but I did the job.  I vacuumed the place, then used a broom, followed by another round of mopping, finishing it off with copious amounts of disinfectant everywhere.  After that, I totally sealed off my windows so no more problems would enter my room.  Even at the expense of fresh air, I didn't care.

Never do I wish to experience this again.  I may just die from the cleanliness OCD in me.  Well, just another day in life.  Not a particularly enjoyable one, though.

Lofticries - Purity Ring