Grace

Had another livid dream today. And I'll just write it here because I enjoyed it as much as I am disturbed by it. Have at it.

Another fleeting moment, and we found ourselves together. The world around us drowned out, as though my universe had shrunk into two things: her, and the adjoining seats holding my world together.

Her golden hair glowed under the generous gift of the sun's rays. To think that such beauty was mere inches from me had me enamored. My arm seemed to have managed to find solace on her opposing shoulder.

I wish I could tell you what her scent was, but my olfactory sense was the least engaged. What happened next was out of character.

Clutching her shoulder, I pulled her closer to me. I felt her body shudder from the sudden shift, but she quickly relaxed, embracing it. Then she countered.

She drew her face closer to mine, her eyes drawing level, while her pupils unfolded her soul. I felt a jolt down my spine, tingling my neurons as I raced through the permutation of outcomes to follow.

And then, I just went for it.

I nudged into her face, feeling the softness of her cheek, her prominent facial feature. Her body gravitated towards mine, inviting me in.

We exchanged glances, and then we kissed. Our existence was invisible to the everyone else. That was fine. It was actually... ideal.

And I am not used to "ideal".

As time resumed, we parted and I felt the grooves slowly peel away from my lips. My heart felt reinvigorated. I felt truly happy.

She flashed a smile, followed by an expression I had not foreseen. She was visibly disgusted. My guesses are, she was upset because she reciprocated. Maybe, she-

"Eww." she interjected.

Yep. That confirmed it. My hand, which was once on her arm, snaked to the back of her chair. I lowered my gaze, trying to come up with an appropriate apology.

Nope. Nothing.

"I'm sorry for doing that. I shouldn't have." she broke the silence wedging between us.

And there it was. The world I had fabricated, shattering, and bleeding out into reality. Then came the sunlight, blinding me, as I'm pulled back into consciousness.

There. Another scenario of the sort of romantic I am.

Off topic, Daredevil Season 2 is interesting. Thankfully I can forget about The Flash or Arrow now. Not gonna lie, Deborah Ann Woll had a huge part to play.

Also, XCOM 2 is a painfully lovely game which is more rewarding than the already well-regarded Darkest Dungeon. Renamed my entire squad after me and by closest friends. I've restarted four missions already. Only "Adli" remains dead in my virtual game to this date.

posted from Bloggeroid

Scatter

Scatter.

Like dust,
Of the past monument,
And onward to an unknown future.

Like ashes,
So those who have passed,
Will provide guidance.

Like flowers in the autumn.
For the fallen petals,
Are merely a promise for who I can be.

For the garden that will bloom,
In a flurry of brilliance,
And beauty.

posted from Bloggeroid

Grave

Today was Cheng Beng for my family. That is the Chinese practice of visiting our ancestor's graves to pay our respects, by cleaning up the compound, blessing them with holy tags, and gifting them "money for the dead", for their afterlife*.

*Correct me if I'm misinformed, because I've lost a lot of cultural identity through the years.

Great great grandfather's grave was the first of the lot, and we have trouble locating it as many of his neighbors had relocated, thus making memory jogs that much harder with the removal of many landmarks.

Great grandfather and great grandmother were relocated some 4 years back to join my grandfather at adjoining graves in a new, nicer complex in Semenyih. They used to reside there in isolation, but not anymore.

My naivety blinded the glaring reality that people do die in my three years abroad. What was just an island of my ancestor's tombs are now inhabited by family other acquaintances. And it is morbid to think of such drastic changes in scenery when I was abroad.

Once we were done with formalities, my parents took a detour to another site, which was new. Puzzled and assuming my cultural duty as the eldest son, I joined them to visit this new site. Maybe we relocated a distant relative, I thought.

My dad quickly addressed that question, with an alarming sense of casual calmness. It was Uncle Wai Chong, my parent's close friend. I didn't even know about it.

Reading his tombstone, and realising that my parents had already outlived him made it slightly more dreary. He would have celebrated his 51st birthday just two days ago. He died last year, just months before my return to Malaysia. Tears started to well up. I did my best to suppress them.

I still remember visiting his house, and fishing for the first and only time in the pond right outside Uncle Wai Chong's compound. That was almost 7 years ago, and I never met him since.

Little did I know that would be the only time I see him in person. The fragility of human life really upsets me.

I've said this before about this blog and the feelings portrayed here. It's unapologetically real and organic, and I won't put a positive spin on this. I'm not sorry for that. I'm only sorry that everyone has to live through this pain.

Tiny note: 7 Years - Lukas Graham. Right in the feels.

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Intelligent

What was initially perceived to be a simple dinner, led to an intriguing and intelligent conversation on life, family, relationships, culture, studies, movies, and Gerald Butler (mainly my dislike towards him).

Four and a half hours later, I left with high spirits and a satisfied stomach. Thank you, Yan Chee, for making this week less dreary. Here's to more insightful discussions, and good dinners.

posted from Bloggeroid

Plant

It's been eight working days in Port Klang and it's been a drab, sadly. Granted I can't assume to be running the whole place like a pro when I need to learn the way things work, first.

The language barrier is a lot tougher than I thought, too. My abysmal command of Malay makes it hard to convey the message to my team of 13, sometimes. Thankfully my colleague and boss have a tendency to talk in English.

There's loads of nuances when it comes to a QA lab being placed in a production plant. The biggest thing being the various staff from multiple departments in which we have to liaise at one time to get an order through. I was quite shocked to see a fellow friend from Iowa State who had joined the same company, but in the materials planning department.

So here are the misfortunes I've had already. I've lost my work shoes (steel-toed, and HR refuses to get me another one for their hiccup), and that's it. Wow... That took a turn. Yeah, I guess in hindsight work isn't that bad, aside from it being mundane from all the paperwork. I came in just in time for audit season so I've been running around doing donkey work.

But there's literally not much to do in the hostel. It's hot and stuffy, and you can't open the windows as pests will swarm in. My roommates are quiet, and thus far I've been spending my nights either watching movies, listening to podcasts, and grinding on Darkest Dungeon (what can I say, it's a good game). Shows include Spotlight, Creed, The Big Short, and Welcome To The Sticks. I'm looking to add Deadpool to that list soon.

I'm slowly trying out the food from around the place (nothing fancy, of course) and might consider random meet ups later in the future. The jams are bad, since I can only get off over rush hour and the same goes for when I return to DU.

The biggest bummer, is how quickly the weekend just goes by. I read somewhere that it's healthy to have an off day for each week. Last week saw me binge watching Masterchef Canada, four hours straight. It's down to the final four and I'm excited.

I still can't get over my misfortune with the car radio, as they're always blaring the pop music I so strongly dislike (due to their monotony and lack of substance). To make matters worse, my car radio fails to read my pendrive so even a personal playlist doesn't make a difference.

The good news is that I get lots of karaoke practice and shower thoughts while driving. And the most profound notion thus far was the idea of seafaring for months on end. I wonder how that would be like, living in a vessel for months, detached from the world.

That would be quite the experience. Anyway, I am looking forward to my first paycheck and how I can think of personal improvements from there, like books and online courses and whatnot, plus taking out friends for meals. I'm giddy with excitement.

posted from Bloggeroid

Adult

So... I took the job offer.

Yep, I'm going to be a grown-up and start working for Mewah Dairies as a Quality Assurance Executive. I start in two days.

Since the workplace is an hour away from my place, I'll be taking up the company hostel which saves travel time and toll money.

As such, I'm not sure how often will I be able to blog on this spot (finally, a legitimate reason, eh?) and I am not sure how much time I'll have for friends at the DU area.

Hopefully I can meet new people, too and have a balance between social gatherings and groups.

Things might get much better soon. I might just be back to great again. I've been in a slump for too long.

It's crazy to think that it took me 10 months of unemployment to get here. But all that matters now is my professional development. And this job is demanding and you know I'm a glutton for challenges.

Here's to brighter times. And I hope to revisit this space soon. Moreover, since I only do suggestions via my laptop, I'll leave one here to break the pattern.

~~Crush - Yuna ft. Usher

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Jobs

You know what's the worse thing that can happen while you're in the toilet?

You get a phone call regarding a job position you applied for. Seriously, I can't function normally with my pants down.

On another note, there's a high chance that I'm taking up a job offer. The main reason why I'm still slightly reserved is because the last time I accepted a job offer, I got forced out of the US.

But it does seem promising, and I might just be teetering back to the adult half of my life soon.

Let's hope my driving skills can keep up.

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