Tuesday 1 May 2012

Up and under

She left,
there wasn't a sign.

You lied to yourself,
to fabricate a chance.

Two years,
of grooming your personality.

Then when the moment arrived,
you dug out your own truth.

Get over it, Fang Hao.  One way or another, you have to.  Even if she means more to you than she think she does.  Was is better than a lifetime.

On the dull, broody mood which I only adopt on the bus, I'm back to my personal issues in my love life.  It's been two years already, but I still had feelings for this girl.  She was great, really.  But I took the relationship too quickly and we ended it after a few months.  Trust me, I've been trying to get over it since then, but I have yet to met anyone who can take my mind off her.  She was caring, understanding, and could tell what's on my mind at any given time, and that really helps when I can't find words to say.  We managed to get in contact with each other earlier tonight, as we went out with a group of friends.

There I was next to her, talking about life and all that jazz...  That's when I looked into her eyes, and made a mistake I would later (pretty much now) regret.  I told her about how I missed the times when we were more than friends.  I didn't quite build on that as she was taken aback for a while.  She just said that "the right one will come when the time is right" and all the other substitutes of a nice "let's not go there" approach.

Am I wrong to think that I may never know when the right one comes in the future?  That maybe if we lived in the "now" rather than eying a "future prospect", things may just be that much better?  Am I just too selfish sometimes?

I just want someone to care for, and maybe, just reciprocate a little.  Boo hoo the emotional wants, indeed.

 Howlin' For You - The Black Keys

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