Speech

So I'm reluctant to go into details, but I got to see President Barack Obama in the flesh at ISU, as part of his presidential campaign.  Sure I wasn't into politics, but the atmosphere and the tone he set was immense.  It's one thing to say he's a good speaker, but another to be there when he delivers his speech.  I didn't take any pictures as my clear height deficit left nothing much to offer, but click on this link for the pictures taken by ISU photographers.

Cheers.

No Such Thing - John Mayer

Sentiments

I'm frustrated.

That's all I can say.

There's no blind anger,

no random blitz,

this time a focal point does exist.

Sadly, it's you.

Maybe I don't mean as much to you as I did previously,

but then again I had some value back then.

Now?

Now I'm just a face in a laptop screen.

So far from where you're sitting,

that I may not even exist.

So yes, I'm mad at you.

This will be as blatant as it gets.

About this morning,

when I said I didn't mind,

I lied.

Like I always do,

so that you don't have a sleepless night,

swallowed in guilt.

At least you're sensitive enough to feel that strand of emotion.

Funny how you keep me waiting,

even now,

in a different aspect.

And in solitude,

again I'll find the oldest of friends,

even if tears and reluctance is what keeps us together.

This is just a simple meeting.  Should you not be able to make it on the agreed time, tell me!  It's not that bloody hard!  Sigh.  I'm exasperated.

Not While I'm Around - Jamie Cullum

Novel

First day of class was okay.  Basically just running through the syllabus so nothing notable.

And now, as Aneez suggested, some writing.

Isolated at the opposite end,

the paper can't be folded,

for it will never meld,

it's a reality.

I left with false ideals,

that I would've been cleansed,

that I was purged of all ties,

ties deemed encumbering.

Now I realized,

that these weaknesses,

these personally-labelled restraints,

is what keeps me striving,

the core of my current being.

You left,

with a smile of sincerity,

I smiled back,

heaving a wounded vessel,

the pain being internal,

you wouldn't like it.

A fraction of me still feels regret,

for the taken risk,

for the impatience,

for the selfishness,

for the impression.

Other days leave me flustered,

sometimes brimming confidence.

But not today,

memories have stripped that layer off me,

the layer of beliefs and fortitude.

No, you lay me bare.

That's the eternal beauty of which defines you,

of which I have no answer to,

for I only can offer myself as tribute,

to appease,

to be tossed around like a ragdoll,

to gain not affection, but recognition.

Today I cringe in silence,

not in fear, 

not in pain,

but awe.

That although time trickles away, 

from my very fingertips,

I would give any day away,

just to try to convince you,

be it for today, or a lifetime.

By My Side - Kasabian

Strolls

I'm sorry I couldn't write sooner!  Well I'm still having orientation (even now) and I moved in some few days ago.  I've a little bit of spare time now so here I am, blogging.

The city of Ames is very spacious.  It's just flat lands, with fields of corn, corn, corn, and more corn.  Campus is huge as well!  Like, two-fold-of-the-vicinity-of-Sunway-Pyramid huge.  But it's green and since it's summertime, the weather is cool at about 26 C.  Under the sun though, it feels just like Malaysia.  So whatever aspirations I had about getting rid of my tan has gone out of the window.

It's a long walk from one end of campus to another, about 30 minutes or so.  Fortunately there's a very efficient bus system which covers most of the buildings on campus, even off campus to the convenience stores.  Unlike Malaysia, these buses are punctual down to the minute.  It's free for Iowa State U students with an ISU ID, but since we're paying for the resources, it's technically not "free" per say.

The environment is very green here, with large trees everywhere offering shade and fresh air.  Moreover campus is smoke-free so all the air you breathe in is clean and fresh, so walking around campus isn't that taxing.  In fact, there's a lake situated at the heart of campus called Lake La Verne.  There's a flock of ducks and swans around that lake, and a pair of the swans (known as Lancelot and Elaine) are part of tradition around here.  I've also witnessed some rabbits and squirrels happily hopping about on campus itself!

My residential hall is a bit small, but it's manageable.  Since my block is the freshman block, I get to see many international students, mainly Chinese.  And although it's slightly isolated from the main campus, the bus system does help a lot.  Even a casual walk will take you 15 minutes to reach the main campus so I can't complain.  I walked home yesterday from the opposite side of campus at 7.45 pm and it was as bright as day!  And the sun wasn't glaring down at me so couple that with a nice breeze, and you get a very pleasant walk all the way back home.

One thing that I must mention about ISU is that there's thrash compactors everywhere around campus.  They're solar powered and can store up to 5 times the original amount of waste by compressing it.  So it's very green and energy efficient.  Furthermore every building has a water dispenser so that everyone can quench their thirst, and although it may be a small thing, I really like it.

People here are nice and are very friendly.  And it's different from Malaysia in the sense that they can easily strike up a conversation.  I think it's the Asian mentality to be more reserved, so we don't usually chit-chat that much, but the Americans are very sociable, which is a good thing.  

Oh, I think my resident assistant is hot.  Haha!!  I mean, blonde hair, green eyes, MY HEIGHT.  So nice!!  And there was this one time when I was walking around campus and suddenly this horde of girls started appearing.  About hundreds of them strolling down the same path (some of them quite pretty, but that's besides the point).  It was interesting...  hahaha!!  I think they're from the fraternities so it was quite some eye candy there!  As a consolation to girls reading this post, it's a common sight to see hot, topless guys jogging around or playing sports, so don't feel too left out.  The moderator for the "guy-hotness" radar was Cassie, so there is a degree of standards involved.

My roommate just moved in about an hour ago so they place is fully furnished now.  My only complain is that my fridge (yes, I can claim it mine now) is right behind my seat so it's a bit of a hassle to open the fridge door.  But exchange that for a Nintendo Gamecube and a 26" TV and a futon?  I'll grab that.

That's all for today.

Club Foot - Kasabian

Wallace

You know when I kept nagging about wanting closure?  I was an idiot for requesting that.  And it still tears a hole in me, at the same time giving me something to believe in for the day that I return.  Shitballs.

On another note, I've finally moved in to my room at Wallace Hall.  I just walked the entire stretch of some 2km-odd road with Shaun, an Agriculture Business Major from China that I just met.  He stays at Wallace too, and he's humongous.

I finally have some free time to myself before the classes here start.  And damn, they're intimidating.  16 credit hours per semester at a minimum?!  My mouth can foam at any given time!

But hey, it's what I wanted.

With lots of hope, vision, and love,

Fang

Music Sounds Better With You - Big Time Rush

Departure

Had a nice time last night with Joyce, Sunshine, Atia and Sabr at Plan b.  Food was not bad and we had a great time chatting.  I think I kinda burned out that night, as I was mainly quiet.  But it was nice.

Then I got my last equipment(s) from Roger and we FIFA-d again.  Seems that I'm good at playing Premier League teams against him, as the track record stands at a 100% win streak when I'm using a BPL team.  And then, I got thumped back to back for 4 games with anonymous clubs.

Got back at 4.30 am and crashed on the bed, thinking that it'll be my last night here in Malaysia.  Many people ask: "How do you feel about leaving?".  Well, I feel everything and nothing at the same time: pain, joy, sadness, excitement, fear, determination, etc.  

For me the feeling only started seeping in about a week ago.  All this while I thought: "Oh, I'm a quiet guy.  With no high regards made by my peers and friends.  Just a simple guy living his life and pursuing his dream.".  Then I got to attend and organize sooo many social events, and finally learn that I meant so much more to everyone than I value myself.  That perhaps I'm just stuck in this modest and low-self esteem state that I act as though I'm inferior to others.  But through the past few weeks, I got to know that I did matter to people; that somehow, I've inspired them and influenced them in a particular degree; that maybe I'm worthwhile.  I don't know; it sounds confusing, eh?  But I feel so stupid to not notice that I was loved and cared for so much all this time, and I took it for granted.  And it's like I want to cry everyday, but just can't find the time to do so.

I'll be leaving for the airport in 8 hours time.  Sigh

It's riveting.  I think that word properly justifies the position I'm in.  Just...  riveting.

Ready To Start - Arcade Fire

Appreciation

We, the ADTP Student Committee, visited the Orang Asli settlement at Trolak, Perak to hand over the Nokero solar-powered lamps.  They will benefit greatly from the lamps as their time for studies and reading is limited when the sun sets.  These lamps can change all that, and it runs on clean energy.

Going for the trip, I didn't know what to expect.  But the people there were very receptive of our arrival and invited us with open arms.  Vic and I had the honor of having lunch with the village head, Tok Batin, as the others were fasting for Ramadhan.  We also played with the kids there and went waterfall hiking with them.  Believe you me, they're all incredibly agile, as we struggled to keep up with their pace, as they jump from rock to rock, across streams.  I slipped on a rock covered in algae and scraped my foot a little, to my embarrassment.

We left in the afternoon from an amazing experience.  It was great to know that our cause was not only beneficial to some, but also much needed and appreciated.  I mean, if you hand a solar-powered lamp to a city-person, the effect will be entirely different, even the appreciation level.

Later that evening, I had the chance to play my last game of football at the nearby community park.  Roger and I got battered, as I had lumps kicked into me and he tanked many strong shots (he was keeper), but we did well.  Heck, we gave the opposition a run at the later half of the game, gaining the lead for the first time.  We were playing out of our skins, and the opposition grew more and more frustrated, to the point of self-imploding.  Sadly we couldn't capitalize on that (we're still just two players) and the match ended 3-1.  But it could've gone the other way on any other day, as Roger chose a very much makeshift side against a strong team.

My shins are both aching and my foot is a bit sore, but I have no regrets that day.  It was really a fairytale ending for me at DU Court.  And I got whacked badly by Roger in FIFA 12 later that night.

The Phoenix Alive (Kris Menace Mix) - Monarchy

Hourglass

Basically, I've been through a lot in the past few weeks.  Be it either laziness or fatigue, sorry I didn't blog about it for a while.

Firstly, the Bukit Tabur hike may never be blogged about properly, as the pictures aren't fully uploaded yet.  But it was 1000 meters above ground level, and an incredible experience.  I nearly slipped on that quartz ridge twice, of which the outcome wouldn't be nice in any way, and I was reminded of how precious and fragile life can be.  That same day, I was late for my graduation by an hour or so, because of the rain and the jam.  I wasn't particularly happy about that, but my lecturers and friends were there to accompany me.  So that didn't suck too bad.  So that was on a Friday, the 20th of July.

Then on the 25th of July, I grabbed Roger along for a session of Laser Tag with the Sunway peeps, since he's never played it before.  Had quite a good time that day, getting 2nd, 3rd and 5th on the standings for the three games we played.  And Roger was so compelled to beat me in the game that with every kill he has on me, he would actually run up to my face and shout: "You mad?!".  That was fun haha!

The next day saw me playing futsal with again, the Sunway peeps, plus Roger and my driving school buddy, Vikesh and his team.  It was a nice day as well, although I didn't score any goals.  I did grab some 4 assists, helping Roger net 2 of his 4-goal tally that day.  The highlight for my day there was managing to beat a defender with a roulette.  Like, finally!  But after the turn and gasps of awe from my spectating friends, I fired the shot straight at the keeper...  So I'll have to work on my finishing a lot more.

Then on Saturday, Rachel had a farewell party at Metropolitan Square Condominiums.  It was a great time, getting to hang out with friends and chill for the day.  My only issue was the blasted parking rate, which costed me RM 15.50.  But it's a small thing, in exchange for what I went through.

On Sunday, I returned to my kampung at Seremban for prayers.  The prayers was mainly to give me the blessing and guidance from my ancestors.  It was a simple event, but as I stepped up to that altar, with the rest of my family looking on, it was very emotional.  So close was I to breaking down right in front of them; it just meant so much to me.

I got my laptop's RAM increased at Digital Mall on the 31st of July, with Isaac being the extremely annoying backseat driver and Roger tagging along.  The following day, I followed my mom for lunch with some newly-acquainted friends and was forced fed one too many prawns (reasons being I'm young, that I need to eat more so that I can grow, etc) so I had a severe allergic reaction to that.  Thus, I got a shot in the butt to cure it.

And the next day saw me spring cleaning the ADTP Storeroom, which prior to that day had never been delved into for the past 2 years.  It was simply a mess in there!  Being the dude with a partial OCD to cleanliness, it was horrifying in there.  But nevertheless, we got the entire room sorted out and rearranged in some 5 hours time.  After that, Naufal and I were interviewed on behalf of Sunway ADTP, to be recorded and uploaded on the online database.  It was baaaad haha!  We kept screwing up every now and then, but it was a fun time.  Later that night, we buka puasa at Itallianese.  And as usual, I overate.  Severely.

That Friday saw me returning to my other kampung at Ipoh to say goodbye to my relatives.  It was a day trip so nothing much happened, but I was dead tired by the end of the day.  And yesterday Chin, Danny, Roger and I attempted to head to Wangsa Maju for the Burger Bakar Kaw Kaw, but failed to in the end, so we headed to SS2 Murni instead.

And I'm having lunch with The Usual Gang later at Hayaki, going to buy a batik shirt with my parents, and later a steamboat dinner with the Scouts at Fat One Steamboat.

So much to do, and I'm not even done packing yet.

Empire Ants - Gorillaz