Dreams

Woke up today to the sound of rain and the chilly weather.  I had a dream last night, and in introspective it was quite a worrying thought.  Laugh all you want, but I dreamed about failed grades in my first semester here in ISU.  Referring to earlier posts on my MICRO 302 class, getting a C grade is hardly what I ever wanted.  But reflecting on why I had that dream, has studies been on my mind so much that I think of it so often?

Also, I expected things to change here with respect to the mentality people adopt here.  Although this only applies to a group of Malaysian friends I have, it is something worth my time to ponder on.  I expected them to act more mature and responsible with their actions, but it's all the same here:  kids being forced out of their country to "make their parents proud", and friends to them are simply a means to an end, as companions and nothing more.

It's sickening to know that all my contributions are taken so lightly with a "it's just this; it's just that", and that I'm so under-appreciated.  I've yet to voice out on them, but this is utterly ridiculous.  Total BS.  Touching on that, I think I've finally reconciled why I feel so moody of late: I have no life outside of college.  No one to spend time playing games with, no one to have serious talks regarding anything, no one; I'm as lonely as I always had been.  When I think about it, the time I spend outside studies and societies is time wasted with people who don't give two cents about me.  I know I'm making the effort and as selfish as this sounds, it's definitely not my fault.

With passion comes inevitable disappointment.  What keeps me dragging on is beyond me, but I am grateful of it.

Places We Should Be - Danielle Andrade