Gingerbread

This goes to you,
brimming with brilliance.
You strike me again,
again, again.

Stunningly so,
and left with no reply.
But I'm not the only one.

Peculiarly eccentric,
such workings in tandem,
nothing short of exhilarating.

Yet I sit by,
taking numbers,
grasping at straws,
helplessly waiting,
albeit with immeasurable optimism.

With no clue,
and a wisp of bad timing,
I string myself on.

Yet, I'm happy;
you might have a lead now,
and I shan't be selfish.

After all,
you are still my friend first.
Although I would like otherwise.

Flashed Junk Mind - 

Milky Chance

Fire

http://amestrib.com/news/friends-remember-fire-victim-warm-natured-strong-faith#sthash.zLmFYE8d.5MXebivZ.gbpl

Woke up on Tuesday, with the habitual Facebook check.  Through the News Feed, I was perplexed to see a photo of my friend flooding the page, with a date range of 25 years, with yesterday the last date.

The dread slowly set in.  A man I knew, a man who was kind, passionate, altruistic, had lost his life.  And I knew him, not well, but I knew him enough; I shook his hand, patted his back, glance him the sincerest of smiles, and it's all gone now.  

The two other victims of this incident are still recovering, and I find some respite that things could have been worse.  I wish them the quickest of recoveries.

But it is still hard to grasp the fact that you know a victim, especially one who was only a few years apart from you. I can't properly articulate my feelings right now, much to my distraught.  Life can be cruel sometimes, no matter how well-off one can be.

Rest in Peace, Sonny. We will all miss you dearly.

Georgia - Vance Joy

Top

Sometimes I ask myself why do I feel sad, and sometimes... I can't find the answer for it.

I talked to Hanan and Savannah yesterday about motivations and drive, and I feel that mine spawns from guilt. The former tells me to let go, and she's right. I should.

I shouldn't be weighed down by anyone. I don't think they want that as well. It's the fear of finding a new drive that gets me. But I need to start looking after myself and not look for affirmation from others.

I need to believe that I deserve more. Otherwise, this might just eat me up.

posted from Bloggeroid

Microspikes

Hiking in Colorado for the second time was a fun experience! We managed to cover all three lakes (Nymph, Emerald and Dream Lake) this time, and in record time (which makes me feel a lot better). Plus, I've Justin's Go Pro camera this time. The last time we went there, there was a really bad blizzard and we had minimal visibility, thus not finishing the hike.

But this trip was great in many other ways. It's currently Spring Break and I'm done with AiSO (which was a successful event, despite some hiccups); getting a much-needed break at Colorado, bunking over at Savannah's grandparents' place; getting to know my friends better.

It's a gift. And nothing less.

Back to her grandparents, their house was beautiful. Absolutely so, with each room bearing unique themes, with the earthen colors harmonious, plus a lake in the backyard.

It really reminded me of Seremban, my hometown of simplicity and loving family members. It has been a while since I've felt so at home to a place, and her grandparents were incredibly humorous, full of knowledge and compassion.

I'm not in love, I think that's a little overboard. But I do humbly, truly appreciate their hospitality and Savannah's generosity for having us stay over.

I'll leave my emotional writings for another day. Right now, I plan to live in the moment. Life's good.

posted from Bloggeroid

Wichita

So there it goes. The conclusion of the 3rd Annual AiSO National Conference. Part of me is relieved, from the shakey start we had, but most of me is saddened that I was too busy running the conference to get to know these participants.

But this post isn't about that.

I was walking home to the beautiful sunset the evening after the conference had ended and came across two kids playing catch in my housing area. I flashed him a smiled, greeting him as I pull my earphones away from where they were.

He stops and smiles back, holding a blue bouncing ball, the ones with the tail-like protrusions. Then, we talked.

He asked where I was from, stating that he and his younger brother had moved here from Kansas. I replied accordingly, stating my home country. In response he asks: "Is it further than Wichita (to Ames)?". I responded with a resounding nod: "Why yes, much further away than Wichita".

Upon leaving him to continue playing with his younger brother, the kid asked: "Would you be my friend?". And it struck me. To take a step back, look at the big picture and realize how well-off I am, how privileged I was, that I overlook even the simplest things in life.

Needless to say, he might just be the most important friend I've met. I baded my farewells and headed home, with a tear in my eye, and the most sincerest of feelings overdue.

Life is beautiful.

posted from Bloggeroid

Cards

Season 3 of House of Cards was immense!  To finish the entire season in three days, with my midterms looming, kinda testifies that.

But one of the episodes caught my attention.  I don't want to give too much away, but it rekindled my sense of belonging in a community, and even more in a family.  That in some way or another, I've grown to be more appreciative of connections, to be more caring, loving, and as a result, more vulnerable (which is a good thing).

Through this self-reflection, I realized that one the biggest things I've taken away from studying abroad from the past three years (wow, it's been that long) is how much I value interpersonal ties.

When I think about situations of crisis, and how I would react to one, the outlook has varied tremendously from the Freshman Fang of Sunway University.  The kid back then would deliberate on being tasked with something like this.  But after breaking the 7-month long radio silence with my brother earlier today, I noticed that I would do anything for family, no matter how trivial the task be.

Granted it wasn't a monumental one, but it's a sign.  Please tell me it is.

On a sidenote, I had just went through my first video shoot for the Welcome Video, to be shown during the AiSO National Conference.  I hope the script and delivery was good enough to compensate for the lack of eye candy.

The conference is merely 12 days away, and if there was ever a chance to stall an event, it would be now.  I'm getting nervous just thinking about it, for the magnitude of the task, and the reaping every member would gain out of it.

It's both exhilarating as it is fearsome.  And you know my outlook on roller coasters. 

Pink Shoe Laces - 

The Chordettes

Associate

Do I view you in another light,
value you more, criticise you less,
as you're unique from the fold?

That perhaps,
I wanted you to be an outcast,
an outlier, a pioneer,
so that there was company for my selfishness.

But that distinction is unclear now.
And I'm beginning to wonder,
am I thriving on being different?

Are you becoming less,
of what I wanted?
Or instead,
more of being yourself?

Or am I being hauled back,
returning to my brooding mold?
I wonder...

posted from Bloggeroid