I lost another friend today. Thankfully, it was his choice, and not by some accident or natural disaster.
In fact, it was for a more simple reason. I refused to indulge in his fantasy.
Please don't mistaken this for me trying to take the moral high ground. I've nothing to prove and thus no one to defeat. There's no incentive, no prize for me to be or sound magnanimous in this moment.
What had transported was my refusal to rate this picture of a woman. Mind that this wasn't a pornographic or provocative image; she was fully clothed and decent-looking, in a normal, healthy way.
My friend wanted to know my rating of her. I abstained. He wanted to know whether I found her attractive, and I refused to objectify her based on her looks.
This wasn't the first time I explained my aversion to this... activity. So I flat-out rejected, to make myself clear.
He took that as me getting on my high horse, seeming as though I'm better than everyone and that was me patronising him.
But I wasn't. I just felt indifferent and that's my problem, not his.
In response, he unfriended me from all social platforms. Years of friendship... gone. Just from a disagreement.
Yes, I am saddened by this, but I can't be empathetic about losing a friend over my refusal to play along with his game.
There is no emotion involved in "scoring" who's hot or not. It's wrong and degrading, even if it is just for sport, or as a "bro thing".
I've no time and space for that kind of behavior anymore. I can't treat every person like a human being when my opinion of them changes on a dime, viewing them as nothing but a piece of meat. Whether I meet them in real life or not is an irrelevant, moot and ignorant notion.
It's not that I don't care about our 5,6-year-long friendship; I just don't care enough to fight for it. And for that, I'm sorry.
In fact, it was for a more simple reason. I refused to indulge in his fantasy.
Please don't mistaken this for me trying to take the moral high ground. I've nothing to prove and thus no one to defeat. There's no incentive, no prize for me to be or sound magnanimous in this moment.
What had transported was my refusal to rate this picture of a woman. Mind that this wasn't a pornographic or provocative image; she was fully clothed and decent-looking, in a normal, healthy way.
My friend wanted to know my rating of her. I abstained. He wanted to know whether I found her attractive, and I refused to objectify her based on her looks.
This wasn't the first time I explained my aversion to this... activity. So I flat-out rejected, to make myself clear.
He took that as me getting on my high horse, seeming as though I'm better than everyone and that was me patronising him.
But I wasn't. I just felt indifferent and that's my problem, not his.
In response, he unfriended me from all social platforms. Years of friendship... gone. Just from a disagreement.
Yes, I am saddened by this, but I can't be empathetic about losing a friend over my refusal to play along with his game.
There is no emotion involved in "scoring" who's hot or not. It's wrong and degrading, even if it is just for sport, or as a "bro thing".
I've no time and space for that kind of behavior anymore. I can't treat every person like a human being when my opinion of them changes on a dime, viewing them as nothing but a piece of meat. Whether I meet them in real life or not is an irrelevant, moot and ignorant notion.
It's not that I don't care about our 5,6-year-long friendship; I just don't care enough to fight for it. And for that, I'm sorry.
posted from Bloggeroid
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