And the new year beckons...

And in some 1 hour and 4 minutes, a new decade will come forth.  Wow.  10 years gone just like that.  What have I done in that amount of time??  From 7 to 17 years of age.  Really.  What have I truly accomplished??  It's so befitting to hear "Hanging By A Moment" on my Windows Media Player now...  Very befitting.

When I think about it, how much have I changed, both physically and mentally.  Gosh, I'm soooo gonna dig through my photo album after this.

And looking back, I can say that I enjoyed my progress from kid to teenager, although I didn't fully utilize all the resources I had.  And for the next decade, new friends, college life, and the reluctant journey into adulthood.  It's gonna be rough, but it's just the way I like it.

Not gonna witness some fireworks tonight, since most of my family is down with illnesses.  Oh well, I don't need them to cheer me up.

I leave the decade filled with experiences good and bad,

with some mended hearts and some broken ones still being pieced back,

with laughter, tears, triumph, bruises, joy, scars, and all the ambiguous wonders I have left out.

Hopefully, I may just find some new life experiences to share with everyone, and maybe just someone.

I will stride down memory lane 2000-2010 with pride and my head held high.  Sure I'll look back in the bitter and tearful memories occasionally, but that's how I enjoy my reminiscence.  As long as we don't dwell in the past, I don't see what's the wrong at glancing back.

Damn.  I really got a write a song about this, don't I?  Then again, I'm SUPPOSED to record at least one song and post it before life at Sunway University College starts.  Wish me luck then.

To all, I bade a Happy New Year in advance and farewell for the last post in the year 2010.

Time for some Counter Strike: Source.

Love,

Fang

Goodbye - Paperplane Pursuit

Rejoice

Yay!!!  Malaysia just beat Indonesia in the finals!!!  Although they lost in this second leg 2-1, they had a comfortable 3-0 lead from the first leg at home.  So no worries!!  Malaysia Boleh!!

And for today, at least I'm making some progress by letting go little by little (like, FINALLY...).  Well, I can't just be in a slump forever.  So I guess...  I'm moving on.  Yes, I'm cutting a frustrated figure for the long delay...  I don't like it myself.  Oh well...  Till the next time we meet.

Hurricane Jane - Black Kids

Blink

Finally, I got a good book to read.  Yay me.  As you can see from the fine print below the title, it's about using your subconscious to evaluate and assess stuff instead.  It's seems... complex.  After the first few pages, I was very impressed as anyone can relate to the phenomenon which is Blink.  

The author, Malcolm Gladwell, does look pretty smart, with his Einstein-lookalike hairdo.

I just finished learning Chapter One, which is the Theory of Thin Slices, a sophisticated method of making a quick evaluation or judgment within a short amount of time.  For instance, a person who can apply this theory properly can be as good, if not more accurate, at understanding someone better than his/her close friend for, let say 8 years, just in a window of 30 minutes.  Unfortunately, about 45% of people who understand thin-slicing can't apply it.  I haven't tried it out yet.

Currently learning the art of "Priming".  This'll be fun.  Okays.  That's it for today.  Not in the mood for prom blogging yet.  And it just hit me that I'm starting pre-u in a week's time.  Crap.

Cassie - Flyleaf

After

You know what??  I just re-visited a presumed "dormant" blog of a friend and man... is it deep.  I guess the more I try, the more it's backfires.  But on the flip-side, if I don't do anything, what will stop the decay?

Haizz... Damn problems.  Oh, one more thing.  The driving agency just called me not too long ago to notify me that they lost ALL my personal info so I have to register myself again.  Utterly superb.

Well, Malaysia just thumped Indonesia 3-0 at Bukit Jalil earlier, which is great, since they lost 5-1 to them earlier in the group stages.  Celebrated with some awesome dessert with the Americans and the Tans.

And prom was seriously, a blast.  Can't blog much now la...  Losing the hype plus I gotta help my dad assemble and re-organise the new furniture for his office at Studio 46.  Starting to look like a cool place to work in, or a super cool cyber cafe!! *hint hint*

Oh well, I'll just end this post with one nicely taken photo of me during my solo performance.  Maybe it'll give me some motivation to blog more on prom...

Well, here it is!!

Thanks, Brandon!!  Fantastic work.

The Son of Flynn - Daft Punk

A Night In Paris

It was a really

Stressful

Emotional

Tiring

Psychotic

evening.

Will blog more once I have the pics (and more passion).

And I got my desktop back!! YAY!!!

Tonight - FM Static

Agenda

Yes!!  It's finally done!!!  I finally finished the agenda for prom night.

And I finally suited up!!  With Liang beside me

But the main topic would be my cousin's wedding.  Hats off, Jack.  10 years of dating with the wonderful Jordan, now you have the rest of your lives ahead of you together.  All the best for the many years to come.

Us and the rest of the guy cousins

(From left: Liang, Me, Sheng Tat, Kok Kuan, and Geoff)

Again, I was one of the few reluctant people to hit the dance floor.  It was damn awkward.  I mean, there I was, with about a dozen other people, dancing the same set of 20-odd moves in front of 400+ people enjoying their dessert.  It was... hilarious.

And yesterday I went for the KPP course for driving.  And it was DAMN BORING.  I actually took a power nap during the course as it was so dull.  Lucky I had Sabr there with me.  Oh well, thank god it's over.

Now for Tron: Legacy.  My mom's booking the tickets as I type this out.  Can't wait!!

And Tenji buffet after that!  It's a brilliant excuse to eat like a pig and still look good doing so.  Hahaha.  Whee!!

Differences - Ginuwine

Matrimony

It's funny how I'm having a massive headache although I'm not the groom for the day...

I have a hunch that the fever's coming.  And sh!t that ain't good.  Well, the schedule for prom STILL isn't complete yet...  I got about 5 bands not replying my messages...  But the good news, I have a little time extension till tonight.  Moreover, I managed to break a new record for screwing up the head of the poor Akar Karya worker as I called him a total of 8 times.  Oh well, the customer's always right, eh?

Can't wait for tonight!!  I hope that the stupid pimple below my nose doesn't show.  Otherwise I'll have to do some massive photo-shopping.  Ciaoz

Damage Control - John Petrucci

Rejoice!!

Needless to say, this may be the only happy post that I posted all week, which is quite double-edged, ironically.

We had our re-auditions this morning, with our new song.  But after our performance, we were suddenly told that we're gonna be the band playing for the dance floor!  So we had to change practically all our songs all over again... Haizz.  The good news is that we already settled the new song while waiting in the studio lobby.  Just need to practice a little now.  Time to dig up some old tabs to relearn...  Oh, and I got a part for my solo performance : ]

I'm probably smiling like a goofball now. Hee hee.  What to do??  It's quite an elated feeling hahaha.

Now all I gotta do is inform all the performers of their performance time and get the names for the bands, dancers etc.  Currently typing out the agenda on Microsoft Word.  Wheee

Always Be My Baby - David Cook

Chores

Today's futsal with the Scout Seniors failed to materialize... Which blows.

But, looking to the upside, finally!!  I got a day all to myself, no events or assignments attached.  I can't believe I'm saying this but I feel so... ALIVE!  You know?  I thought that it'll be something incredibly fun just to bomb my entire week of joyous events with friends to commemorate my freedom from all secondary school education.  But fatigue's getting to me real quick and it blatantly sucks.  Big time.

I suppose the event jam-packing is partially (PARTIALLY, I said) to inhibit some thought process on some past and pressing matters, damn my brain for being able to document bitter memories with some glimmer of efficiency.  But when I think about it, the more I make myself busy, the more it makes me reminisce and think about all the crap in the world.  It's odd how I plan something, and the results are the total opposite, undesirable ones.

So I currently have both houses to bow to my every whim.  Well, for me to bow to their every whim will be more befitting.  And for the first time in months, I actually did all the house chores WILLINGLY (minus vacuum-ing the floor).  Yes, you heard right.  The funny thing, it's quite therapeutic!!  And I guess, is what will make today a good day for me.

Homecoming (The Death of St. Jimmy) - Green Day

Awake

Watching the Man U - Arsenal game.  Got a small wager on them.  Gotta make it three winnings in a row!  It's not easy guessing the scoreline you know, compared to giving certain number of "balls".  Never took time to understand the concept.

After 3 days with some of my closest friends at Studio 46, I am currently some 8-10 hours in sleep debt.  Not nice.  Considering it's now 5 a.m. on the ball, I guess I'm now about 12 hours overdue.

But during their unpredicted stay at my place, it got me thinking (for almost the gazillion bazillion time)

Maybe you were confused,

perhaps you were trying to learn more about yourself still,

you probably didn't notice everything in detail,

all the sacrifices made were overlooked.

Then again, you didn't ask for anything,

all I did ask for is reciprocal.

In my defence, I was just thinking.  I'm pretty much over (most of) it now.  Okay, I'll refrain myself from emo-ing further by ending it here.

Vagabond - Wolfmother

Fear

In some bid to ward off Star Wars junkies, no.  Fear isn't the path to the Dark Side in this post.  I was just reflecting on what drives me to un-drive me.

What I'm trying to say is that on some (seldom) occasions, I take some "risk" here and there, however mundane or minuscule it may be, in an effort to instill some dire need of courage in myself.  Note that seldom means about 1 in 15 tries and/or scenarios.

On a regular basis however, I don't want to make a change/ take a risk with whatever I do.  I'm not so sure whether it's the fear for change, but it seems so.  Yea yea, the only constant in life is change.  I get it.

The thing is that I really hate that fear that holds me back, but I embrace the flaw at the same time.  Does that make sense to you?  It surely does not to me.

I suppose it's that "split personality" I have.  No, I don't have Multiple Personality Disorder.  It's just that I seem to hold 2 sides of a coin with my character.  I know it sounds weird and some people may not get it...  But that's what I am (to any grammar Nazis out there, it's not "who I am" as it is not of any importance).

Am I crazy?  One day I'm in a bullish mood, the next day I play it close to the chest; one day I'm adventurous, the next I'm just a slouch.  Does this equate anything to anyone?  Or am I just some average Joe of a confused teen turning into an adult?

And in the end, fear.  That's what grips me like a parasite and engulfs my like a plague.  Fear of love, lost, triumph, ruins.  Fear, may be just what makes me, another grain in the sand.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”                                               

 - Marianne Williamson-

I would like to add that this quote wasn't originated from Nelson Mandela himself, made famous by his Inauguration Speech in 1994.  But he still is all the more of an incredible man, with or without the crediting of this speech being his or not.

Now to get ready for my jamming/ party.

Snow (Hey Oh) - The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Saving

Well... Today's master plan of trying to record a song from start to end failed miserably.  After lunch, Roger and Chin paid a visit to my place for what I thought was the occasional jamming.  Nope.  Chin brought his laptop so that we could watch some movies.

So we three camped in my room for 2 hours watching "Saving Private Ryan" (the authentic, uncensored one), since I only watched the ending part and Roger had never seen it.  Most of the time, Roger was going "Holy Sh!t!!" whenever some dismembered limb was shown.

We only managed one half of the show before playing football.  Next week, we'll finish it.  Got the entire week booked.  Busy busy busy.

Muzzle #1 - The Whisp

Last

I baliked to my kampung on Saturday night to celebrate my grandfather's birthday the next day.  He would've been 73 this year.  It's such a sad thing that he couldn't see me through SPM...  But I bet he's having the time of his new life now.  I guess it's what we all would've wanted for him.

Moving on so we went back on Saturday and I forgot that there wasn't any phone charger there for my Aino.  So with 50% battery life at 5 p.m., I had to use it wisely.  And I came back here with 7% battery life left at 5.05 p.m. the next day.  Another funny thing was that the water there tasted like barbecue sauce... Freaky.  Maybe the kettle had burned... I don't know.

So we celebrated his birthday with full joy, not a single tear shed, which I was extremely grateful and happy for.  He would've wanted that.  Definitely.  And it's very nice to see that his favourite foods are my generations' favourites too.

And I'm so happy that I can finally watch a weekday game of football.  Since there's no exams on Tuesday, I can happily watch the 4 o'clock of Liverpool against Aston Villa.  It's gonna be quite memorable!  Gerard Houllier, the man who helped Liverpool to the treble in 2001, will make some emotional comeback man, now managing the opposition.

Well, one more paper left for SPM, which is Biology.  Can't wait to get it done with.  Fang, signing off.

Cassius - Foals

The truth of a thousand lies

It's always love and affection,

but you don't like me,

you just want the attention.

4 months living with an ironic inception.  Wow, I feel so much better now.  You'll probably read this, but this post isn't for you.  It's plainly for my self esteem.  Don't take it the wrong way.

Love yourself first, then maybe you can reciprocate.  Farewell, babe.  We had a nice imaginary run.  Well, maybe you did.

And for the record, I embrace my flaws because I accept my defects, that I am only human.  Hell yes, I make efforts to change, but there must always be a balance: the void left by an erased mistake will indefinitely be substituted by another mistake.  It's inevitable.  And maybe that's not good enough a reason for you to see that I don't want to change sometimes, but this is one of the few post that I intend to make it self-serving.

It's funny how feelings can just polarize overnight, huh?  But believe me when I said it back then.  I genuinely did think of a future with us together.  It wasn't that far-fetched.  Just ask yourself, one last time.  How minuscule is a probability that a combination is 100% faultless?

Run me through that again, will you?

Soothsayer - Buckethead